Diary of a Baffled Hybrid
by findingmymuse
Summary: Nessie has always been the center of attention. But being 'special' isn't always as fun as it sounds and she's figuring that out as she matures quickly. Having been protected all her life, she has trouble adapting when faced with the ugly truth. Unique:
1. Happy Birthday

**Disclaimer: I own Twilight. I am twenty-six feet tall. I have purple skin. I can fly. I am a pathological liar. **

**Guess which one is true? **

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Dear Diary,

Alice got me this pretty pink diary for my sixth birthday. I am much too old to own one (let alone this being my first one) and I honestly wish to have nothing to do with you. I know it sounds weird, but I am physically almost an adult…okay, so I'm physically fifteen and some change. That's practically an adult in my eyes. Definitely not a little girl in a tiara like my parents wanted me to be.

I don't need to be reminded that I'm not like the other kids my natural age, so you Dairy, are not helping with that fact. Being six is supposed to be about princesses and very first slumber parties and taking a nap in the middle of the day when you get tired just because you had too much sugar.

None of those things fit my current situation.

Let me just recap the beginning of this horrible of horrible days so you can understand how being six years old is the worst thing that could possibly ever happen.

It all started this morning. I woke up to find six vampires standing over the foot of my bed. To you, it might be frightening; to me, it was just annoying. On every physical birthday and technical birthday, I am woken up to the sight of my parents, Bella and Edward, aunts, Alice and Rosalie, and my uncles, Jasper and Emmett.

And yes, I have had twenty-one birthday parties in my life if you are one of those people who've figured out the math already…huh, does that make me able to drink?

Luckily, Dr. Carlisle and Esme don't participate in this weird freak-out-the-only-one-who-sleeps-in-the-house routine or else I'd probably have to shoot myself. I need a few normal relatives in my life or else I would surely go crazy.

This morning was difficult enough because I knew that I wouldn't get to see my Jacob all day, so I guess I was in a bad mood to start with. Why my werewolf best friend had to pick my birthday to ask for patrol time during the day was beyond me. Though I didn't want to celebrate it and he was the only one who acknowledged that memo, I still found it weird that he wasn't there. We did everything together.

"Ugh. Why are you all staring at me?" I grumbled, pulling the covers back over my head in an attempt to make them all go away. It failed miserably, but what did I expect.

"We just wanted to make sure that you were awake when Esme finished the pancakes." Alice replied chirpily. Stupid happy pixie.

"I can't even think about birthday breakfast after my 'fifteenth' chocolate mouse topped waffle brunch." I complained, rubbing my flat stomach to prove my point. "I gained three whole pounds that morning!"

"You did not." Rosalie said with an eye roll. "Your figure is as flawless as ever. Now get up so we can shower you with gifts."

'Birthday breakfast,' 'showered with gifts,' most people would jump at the sound of either of those. I just happen to not be one of those people.

The family says I remind them of Bella when she was human, but I doubt that. I at least tolerate all this birthday junk, she refuses to participate at all. She only has one birthday (on mine, coincidentally) but no one ever makes her celebrate it.

I wish I could have it that easy.

The day went on like that. My family telling me what to do and I followed orders like a good little half vampire daughter. Until…

We got a knock on the door towards the end of the evening.

Truthfully, I was thankful for the distraction. I hated the spotlight (which was odd since I always found myself in the center of it) and my fake and real birthdays gave me no escape from that.

If I had known who was at the door, I wouldn't have been so happy though.

Nauhel entered the house, looking just the same as he did five and a half years ago. I had only been a physical toddler at the time, but my memory stretched back to that first glimpse of Human Bella giving birth to me.

Besides, it was hard to forget the only male hybrid like yourself.

"Renesme, how lovely it is to see you all grown up." Nauhel gushed when he spotted me amongst the other vampires in the living room.

"She's not grown up yet." Edward hissed through clenched teeth. Hmm, I wonder what Nauhel was thinking. Guess I'll never know.

"I'm getting there." I pouted stubbornly. "Just one more year."

"Ah, yes. One year." Nauhel said casually. "Hardly noticed for a half vampire like yourself, is it not?" He asked. He seemed to only be addressing me, as he hadn't said anything to anyone else.

"Yeah. With all my birthdays, I barely have time to live." I said half sarcastically.

"It is a triumphs occasion." Nauhel agreed. "As is the reason I have come here tonight, on your birthday."

"Spit it out, Nauhel." Bella commanded and Edward growled.

"I wish to court you, Renesme. If you'll allow me, I shall make you the happiest girl in the world." Nauhel said formally.

"What are you talking about? Courting? Like dating?" I asked, confused about what brought this on. "I'm not really looking for a boyfriend."

"Think long-term, sweet Renesme." Nauhel said gently.

My eyes widened to the size of saucers. He couldn't be serious, could he? I was not even sixteen and he was considering me for marriage?

"I'll…um, have to…um, think about it, okay?" I stuttered, my eyes looking anywhere but at him. I was so thankful that Jake wasn't there or he'd tease me about it for the rest of my life.

"Take as long as you wish." Nauhel said, reaching over and kissing my hand as I made my way up the stairs. I didn't want to be around anyone suddenly.

And that was how my sixth birthday ended. A goodnight kiss from a potential husband, and not even a good morning from my very best friend. Maybe this is a sign…

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**AN: I don't have a story plot for this so its kind of shaping itself. Any ideas for future chapters need to be reviewed lol since I'm not a mindreader. **


	2. New Company

Dear Diary,

Jake is avoiding me.

I know that doesn't sound like much, but he has been my best friend for as long as I remember and for him to suddenly not see me everyday, well, that is something that scares me. It has been three days since my birthday and not a single sighting of my beloved wolf.

Ever since I called him on my birthday about Nauhel's offer, he's been AWOL.

Speaking of Nuahel, he's staying in the cottage that my parents got as a honeymoon gift. I'm not sure if I'm relieved or disappointed that I'm not sleeping close to Nauhel. Being the only other person that sleeps in the house, I'm a little curious about whether or not he snores like Jake.

Why am I not living with my parents? Well, it didn't take my advanced mind long to figure out what all that banging was every night and I have long since moved out of it and into the main house with my extended family.

You'd think that would intitle me some freedoms, but sadly, its actually stricter in my basement bedroom (two stories below Emmett and Rosalie's room) than it was with my actual parents hovering over me before bedtime.

Nauhel didn't seem to mind though and Edward and Bella are more than happy to let him stay with them. Actually 'happy' wouldn't be the word I would use for the expression my dad wore when he offered for Nauhel to stay at the cottage instead of the main house. Relieved, maybe?

Nauhel has been by my side every second I'm awake and it pains me to compare him to my MIA best friend. Man, I miss my Jacob.

Is it weird for me to miss him when I've only been apart from him for four days now? I mean, I've been away from flesh-and-blood (no pun intended) family for twice as long and I've never felt this closed off from myself. Its like my right arm is missing.

I guess its because my family doesn't actually get me. They weren't ever like me and definitely don't understand how I can balance the two mythical identities like I do. They couldn't even fathom it if they tried.

Jacob, on the other hand, isn't fully human or wolf all the time. He's like me in that way.

"I'm like you." Nauhel spoke up, startling me from my thinking.

I glanced up at him with panic in my eyes. "Was I projecting?" I asked nervously. Over the years, I had mastered my gift (as had Bella) and now I could project to a someone without even having to touch them. It usually got me into more trouble than it helped me, though, so I didn't particularly like it anymore.

Nauhel smirked like the teenager he looked. "No." He said with a laugh. "I can read what you're writing from here." He stated and my cheeks flushed.

"I…that…um, don't you know that its wrong to read someone else's personal thoughts." I said lamely.

"I don't snore, by the way." Nauhel said, trying to change the subject. I raised an eyebrow in confusion and he chuckled. "You wrote about if I snore or not and I can assure you that I do not."

"Oh." I said, a blush on my cheeks. What was with my crazy blushes lately? I'd have to ask Carlisle about it tomorrow.

Another smirk. "You know, if you are in need of some company until your friend returns, I would be more than happy to take you to see the sights around here…" I raised an eyebrow. "or, more accurately, if you would show them to me, then I would be happy to escort you."

"I have been trapped in the house all week." I said, mulling it over. On the one hand, what if Jake finally showed up when I was gone; on the other hand, he was the one who was keeping me in suspense to begin with and he deserves a taste of his own medicine.

"I'm in." I said with a wicked grin. "Let me go ask my parents first."

"Oh, no need." Nauhel said quickly. "I've already cleared it with your father."

I nodded. Edward had been acting strange all week and I guess it was just in response to everyone's opinions of Nauhel's offer.

"But," I held up a hand. "this doesn't count as you courting me or whatever. Just two friends hanging out." I clarified and his smile dropped a fraction of an inch.

"Of course. I do not wish to rush you, Renesme." Nauhel said with a cocky smile. "I am the only male of your kind though, so you can not run from me forever."

"Sure, sure." I said automatically, trying to blow off his comment. "Lets go before Alice hears about this. She'll want to dress us up and I don't want that if I'm going to be showing you around."

We left the house with a simple "goodbye" to Jasper and Emmett who were playing X-box on the big screen in the living room. They barely even acknowledged us as they continued with their game.

"So? Where to?" I asked, searching the garage for my dad's Volvo.

He had gotten the new one this year and allowed me to practice on his old one. Like everything else, I had picked up driving naturally and was only humoring my dad by not getting my license until I turned 'sixteen.'

"This is your home. You show me what interests you." Nauhel said bluntly. "If you could go anywhere, anywhere at all, where would you go?" He asked and I knew my response automatically.

"La Push." I blurted out, before shaking my head. "But we probably wouldn't be welcome there without an escort. I've only ever gone when Jake was with me."

"I see. So they do not trust you?" Nauhel guessed and I scowled.

"They trust me." I argued. "Its just, I've never had the need to go there without Jacob because he is usually always with me in the first place."

"Doesn't it bother you that the other shape shifters don't like your family?" Nauhel asked as he slid into the passenger seat next to me.

I shrugged. "This is how its always been for me." I stated. "It doesn't bother me because its just how things work."

"So, since we can not go to this 'La Push,' where else would you like to take us?" Nauhel asked when I started up the car.

I grinned as we hit the highway. "We're going to Port Angeles. That's the next best thing. They have everything there and, thanks to Alice, every waiter in the city knows us Cullen girls. We'll have no trouble finding a table."

We were at the restaurant in twenty minutes (a new record for me) and Nauhel was cracking up laughing in the seat next to me.

"You are just like your father, you know." Nauhel said, wiping the tears from his eyes as he continued to laugh. "Speed demons, the whole lot of you!"

"Ha, you obviously haven't seen my mother drive." I said with a grin. "Turtles have passed us on the highway."

We sat in the car for another five minutes until Nauhel finally calmed down. "I haven't laughed that much since my aunt Huilen told us we were becoming 'vegetarians.'"

I frowned. I didn't know that he thought my way of life was humorous.

"Oh, do not be offended, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said when he noticed my expression. "The concept is not what made me laugh. It was the name your family had chosen to use. Vegetarians. To humans that means not eating meat, but to us it means choosing a less rewarding form of nutrients…it just didn't seem to fit with the name."

I stared at his light golden eyes and sighed. "Did you mind the change?" I asked as I opened my door and walked to the front door of the restaurant.

Nauhel was right behind me but I didn't notice how close he was until he answered.

"Not too much." He admitted. "I was already eating a little bit of normal human food, so I was used to the taste of some of the Amazonian animals already…"

He looked like he had more to say, but was cut off by the preppy waiter's greeting. "Welcome to LaDaDinner. I'm Greg and I'll be your server this evening. Follow me."

Greg was cute by human standards but was no where near vampire standards; tall, blonde, blue eyes, and dimples. He seemed to have a cocky attitude due to his beauty and he kept winking at me the entire time he walked us to our booth.

He handed us our menus when we slid into the round booth, and purposely brushed his hand with mine as he did so. What was with this guy?

The second Greg left, I asked Nauhel the same question and he stared at me in disbelief. "The human was hitting on you, Cheetah." Nauhel stated with a bemused look. "Don't tell me that you haven't ever noticed the way human males look at you?"

I shook my head. "I don't get out much without either my aunts or my mother with me and then the guys are all starring at them. Besides, this is the first time I have been out since I turned 'fifteen' without Jake or Edward as an intimidating buffer from guys."

"Does this over protectiveness ever bother you?" Nauhel asked and I gulped. No one had ever asked me that, not even Jake and he usually asked a question before I had even thought about it.

"Well…it…no." I lied, taking a gulp of the water Greg had placed in front of us, along with bread sticks. "I like it." I half lied.

The truth was, I didn't mind that my family (and Jacob) tried to protect me from everything. It just meant that they loved me enough to want to keep me safe. But…sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be normal, if they would care as much if I wasn't a half vampire/half human. If we were all human, would they care this much?

"You lie like your mother." Nauhel stated, not looking at me. "But it is your business. I was merely curious. You fascinate me, Renesme."

The night continued on like that. Question after question. Both of us were taking turns interrogating the other and it was actually sad when the manager came to our table and said that they were closing for the night. I knew that we wouldn't be able to talk this freely at the Cullen residence due to everyone's super hearing and abilities.

"This has been interesting, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said as we headed back to Forks. "Hopefully the next time we go out, you will allow it to count as a date."

I smiled. "Maybe I will." I said, marveling in tonight's events. "But don't count on it." I teased as I pulled up in the Cullen driveway.

"Daddy might not approve of you dating his only daughter." I said with a booming laugh.

I could have sworn that I saw a flash of russet fur in the woods, but it was so fast that I chucked it off as my imagination. I did, however, see Edward waiting on the front porch with a torn expression.

"Did you have fun, Princess?" He asked and I replayed tonight's events. That only made him frown more. "Your mother will not like that you have another new nickname." He teased but didn't say anything else about it.


	3. Confessions

Dear Diary,

You are the only one I can confide in. I would go to Edward or Bella but this seems like too huge of a deal to repeat out loud. I can't even trust this secret in my head. I've been humming the entire Glee Season One CD for the past hour to get some privacy, but my dad keeps asking me what's wrong. Lot of good that trick did.

Oh well, plan B. I'm going to write without thinking (so if this gets a little run-ony don't think too much of it). That's the only way that I can be sure to not alert the Mindreading Police. Or…at least I think it will work.

Well, here goes nothing…I think I like Nauhel.

There, I said it. No taking it back or denying it. It was strange. When he showed up here two weeks ago, I wanted nothing to do with him, but with Jake busy with the pack and all of the new wolves phasing, I had gotten closer and closer to Nauhel.

Nauhel was a perfect gentlemen, but didn't bore me to tears like I thought he would. He had so many fascinating stories about where he'd traveled that I was tempted to ask if I could join him when he left tomorrow.

The age difference didn't even bother me. He was nearly my dad's technical age while I was only six, yet it didn't feel that way when we were talking.

Besides, I was physically fifteen and a half and he was seventeen. We were like most human couples in high school; we would only be one grade level apart and that didn't seem like much.

I knew that he still considered me as his future bride, but I just wanted to date him for a little bit. Just to see how we would fare if I did in fact decide I wanted to spend my forever with him. Not that I was thinking that far ahead yet, either.

But my options were limited. I was a freak among freaks after all. Vampires would find me as an interesting meal. Humans would die too quickly and I would have to keep replacing my partner every few decades. That just left werewolves and Nauhel…and we all know how the werewolves think about the Cold Ones.

"Nauhel?" I called out, searching the woods for his familiar shape.

We had been hunting in the extended backyard and he went up ahead to snag a second deer. I got full much quicker on animal's blood since I grew up on it and didn't have decades of human blood first like he did.

"Yes, Cheetah?" He yelled back, his voice muffled by the sound of him wiping his mouth off.

"You know, its not nice to play with your food." I teased as I came into view of him and his meal. The poor deer looked slaughtered instead of just having its neck broken like my family preferred to do.

"I apologize." Nauhel said calmly. "I forget sometimes that we are not in the jungle. Now _that _is a place to hunt."

"Could I ever see it there?" I asked before I had a chance for my brain to register that my mouth was moving.

Nauhel smiled brilliantly. "Of course, Little Cheetah. I would love to show you my home like you have shown me yours."

I blushed, not sure if I should just say the next part or not since I was already making a fool of myself. "I changed my mind." I said, my cheeks still crimson.

Nauhel raised an eyebrow. "You do not wish to see the Amazons?" He asked and I shook my head. That wasn't what I was talking about.

"I mean, I changed my mind about you and me. I'd like to try da-dating." I stuttered on the last word.

My heart was beating frantically in my chest as the silence dragged on. Was he actually going to reject me after all the work he put into trying to convince me of the same thing I'm asking?

Suddenly, Nauhel was by my side and had his arms wrapped around me in a hug. "Oh, you won't regret this, Cheetah." He whispered into my hair.

When we untangled from our hug, he lead the way back to the house. "I have an idea…" He paused, glancing around for my family members, and continued when I looked up at him.

"How would you like to return to the Amazon for a few months?" He asked warily, biting his bottom lip nervously like Jake did when we hung out.

I just blinked in response so he continued. "I know it seems like I'm rushing you again, but I had already planned on returning tomorrow and it seems awfully tragic if I can not date you now that you've finally decided to allow it."

"I…I'll have to ask my family." I said, trying to sound serious when I was over the moon about the opportunity. Getting to be with Nauhel-my boyfriend?-in a foreign country when I had only ever been to random places in Washington and the occasional trip to Canada was a dream come true.

When we went to ask permission, we got mixed replies.

Esme, Jasper, Carlisle, and Bella were only concerned about my safety and hunting diet while I was there. They had become my cook/therapist/physicians/medical providers.

Emmett wanted to come and scare the wildlife with us.

Rosalie and Alice were going crazy about what to buy/pack for me to bring. Edward was the only one that even registered that I was going to be alone with Nauhel, whom I had decided was my boyfriend not even ten minutes ago.

"Absolutely not. You can not just go tralivanting around the globe with a teenaged boy!" Edward argued angrily. "If you want to go, you'll take a chaperone."

"A chaperone! A chaperone!" I yelled back. "What do you think is going to happen, Dad? I'm smarter than that!"

I took a deep breath and continued. "Besides, Nauhel offered to show me around like I've shown him. You didn't object to our semi-dates in Forks, so why is the Amazon any different?"

"Because…" Edward stated and I knew I had won the argument. He looked at me with sad eyes and I was waiting for the "but." He smiled at my thoughts and continued. "But, make sure you say goodbye to Jake before you leave." He ordered. "He'll kill me if I don't make you tell him yourself."

"But what about my packing?" I asked and then laughed. "Never mind. I'm sure whatever Alice and Rose pack will be enough."


	4. Goodbyes

Dear Diary,

We were leaving today and I was nervous about telling Jake, for some reason.

I hopped in the Volvo bright and early and headed to La Push, leaving Nauhel to face my dad's interrogation. Ha, better him than me.

When I got to the border line, I came to a stop. I wasn't sure if I would get in trouble or not if I crossed. Jacob always said that I was welcome, but some of the other wolves didn't seem to act like it.

I drove straight to Billy's. It was a path that was familiar to me, though not so much in the past two weeks. This whole Jake avoiding me thing was starting to get old.

"Hey, Billy." I called out when I walked into the house. "Jake around?" I asked and stared at the sad expression on Billy's face. I had been seeing that a lot lately.

"He's at First Beach with some of the new wolves." Billy informed me. "Since Sam stepped down because Emily got pregnant, its up to Jake to teach the new phasers everything about being a wolf."

I frowned. "No one told me there were more phasings." I said. "How many?"

"Three in one day." Billy said sorrowfully. "Twin boys and a young girl."

"Wait, another girl? That ought to make Leah happy." I said, knowing how much Leah hates being the solo wolf.

"Actually, its made her even more depressed." Billy explained. "The girl is her niece, Sara, and Leah thinks its her fault for some reason. She doesn't want any other girl to have to be forced to the same loveless fate as she has."

"She still believes that if she doesn't imprint, she'll never be happy?" I asked. I had gone to a few of the bonfires, so I knew the legends but Jake would never tell me what exactly imprinting was other than true love.

"I'm afraid so." Billy said. "Though, it is a kick to watch Embry try to persuade her otherwise. The boy is smitten and she has no clue."

I laughed with him. "Well, I have to go tell Jake about my traveling plans, but I'll come by for a visit again soon. I've missed you, old man." I teased, wrapping my arms around his shoulders since he was in his wheel chair.

I spotted Jake and who I assumed where the three new wolves the moment I stepped onto First Beach. They were hard to miss.

One of the twins looked darker skinned than the other and had longer hair, but they were both clearly identical otherwise. They must have been fifteen, the age Jacob started phasing at.

The girl, however, looked like she was at least eighteen. That fact alone was strange. Most people that suddenly start phasing are younger than that. Besides, when Billy said a young girl had phased, I thought of fourteen-fifteen, not eighteen.

Another strange thing was the fact that she had uncharacteristically blue eyes as well, another thing that set her apart. Almost all of the Quileute have brown eyes. She must be half Quileute then if she wasn't like the other residents. It wasn't unheard of for a male to find a wife from a different tribe, or even from Forks.

I was a foot behind Jake, trying to sneak up on him, when he whirled around and gasped. The three new wolf teens were going crazy in their seats, probably catching my scent, and I gulped.

"Surprise?" I said nervously.

The hard look in Jake's eyes softened and he pulled me into a big bear hug. If I didn't know better, I would say that he was smelling my hair as well, but I could have been imagining that part.

"I've missed you." He stated, not caring that Sara and the twins were trying not to phase. "I'm sorry that you haven't been able to see me lately. I've been training the new wolves and doing double patrol now that most of my main wolves have stopped phasing."

I frowned. "Who isn't phasing?" I asked.

"Sam to stay with Emily. Paul to match Rachel's age. Seth, Jared, and Quil went off to college…" Jacob said, wrapping his arm around my waist to keep me warm in the cool breeze. "That just leaves Leah, Embry, and me to handle this."

"Wow. I'm sorry Jake." I said honestly. "I didn't know it was this busy for you…I sort of thought you were avoiding me."

Jacob laughed. "As if I could avoid you." I smiled to match his crooked grin and wondered what I had come here to talk about in the first place.

"Oh, yeah, I'm leaving today." I said when I finally un-focused on Jake.

He scowled. "I know."

"I won't be gone but a few months, if that even, and then you'll be going to my 'sixteenth' birthday party and it'll feel like I never left." I said. "I'm still upset with you for missing my sixth, by the way."

"You asked me not to celebrate it, so I did as you asked." Jacob said, confused. "I thought that was what you wanted."

I laughed. "You know me. I want something in theory, but when I get it, I want what I've always had."

"We're still talking about birthdays, right?" Jake asked in a half growl.

"Of course." I said, not understanding what he meant.

"Have a safe trip then." He said, kissing my forehead for the first time since I turned 'ten.' "And don't be in such a rush to grow up." He pleaded.

"I won't." I said, half delirious from being around Jacob again after such a break. Man, I missed my best friend. "And when I get back, don't be a stranger."

"Now, that, I can promise." Jake said with a laugh.


	5. Plane Ride

Dear Diary,

Something about Jake's goodbye unsettled me. I couldn't place it in my mind but suddenly, my heart was heavy with regret. It didn't make sense to me so I tried to push it off as I boarded the plane.

Nauhel looked nervous when the plane started to take off and I had to laugh. He was a vampire and he was afraid of being in a plane?

"You don't have to be scared. The plane is perfectly safe." I said, trying to reassure him.

Nauhel smiled weakly. "I am not afraid of the plane, Little Cheetah. I am merely more comfortable on the ground. Heights are a bit of a fear of mine." He admitted, not meeting my eyes.

I tried to stifle my laugh as I reached over to pat his arm. "Its okay. We're all afraid of things." I said, hoping he wouldn't ask me about what I was afraid of.

"And you, Little Cheetah?" He prompted. Drats.

"Um…well, its more of a phobia than a fear actually…" I said, stuttering over my words. I had only admitted my fear to Jacob and I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell Nauhel. For some reason, it felt like Jake's secret to keep safely for me.

"Do I get to know what this phobia is?" Nauhel asked with a grin. He seemed truly interested now and I cursed myself for even bringing it up in the first place. Me and my big mouth.

"I…well, it…" I sighed. "I'm sorry, Nauhel. Its just too embarrassing."

He nodded. "No shame, Little Cheetah." He stroked my cheek with the back of his hand and I couldn't stop the blush that spread to my cheeks.

No one had ever looked at me like that and I was intrigued. He couldn't possibly like me, could he? I was just some fifteen and a half looking half vampire. Nothing special. Still…that look told me otherwise.

"When will we arrive in the jungle?" I asked, trying to distract myself from the jittery feeling in the pit of my stomach. The term 'butterflies' was seriously misinformed. It felt like a swarm of bees were attacking me.

"The plane ride is thirteen hours and then we'll have an hour or so run, vampire style, to Huilen's hut." Nauhel said, smirking when he saw my horrified expression. "It is not as long as it seems, Little Cheetah."

"I just didn't know it would be this long." I said. "You, Mr. Jungle Boy, tricked me." I teased, earning myself an amused expression from him.

"Unintentionally, of course." He said, then pretended to 'give up the charade.' "Okay, you caught me. I misled you so I could have you all to myself. It was all part of my diabolical plan. Genius, no?" He asked, faking sincerity and I laughed.

"You sure are something, you know that?" I said, ignoring the look on the other passengers' faces when I let out a snort while laughing. I bet I looked like an immature teenager to them. Good. That was what I was on this trip.

"Wow. I haven't laughed this much since before my 'fifteenth' birthday." I admitted, sobering a little when I thought of the reason why. That was when Jake suddenly decided there were better things to do than hang out with me all the time.

"Well, then I am happy to amuse you, Renesme." Nauhel said with a bit of a blush himself.

"So what's the weather like in the jungle?" I asked, distracting myself from staring at his face. Seriously, what was with me?

"Certain parts are completely covered in moss and so green that it hurts my eyes to be in the dampness for too long…" He said, sounding annoyed. His tone lightened up as he continued. "But other parts, where I usually hunt, have sunlight streaming down on my face and wildlife darting in and out all day and night. It really is the most unique place I've ever lived."

"It sounds kinda like Forks." I said, half longingly to be there and half homesick for my rainy little town.

"You enjoy your home?" Nauhel asked, though it sounded more like a statement than a question to me.

"Very much so." I admitted. "It will be hard for me to leave it when the family decides it's time to move on."

Nauhel frowned. "Why can you not stay?"

I laughed at that. I had forgotten that Nauhel and his aunt didn't interact with humans on a daily basis. They had no family, didn't want any friends, and didn't like the temptations around now that they had changed their diets to animal's blood.

"My parents, or the rest of my family for that matter, haven't aged a day in the last nine years." I said. "People have started to notice already, so only Carlisle ever leaves the house unless there is an emergency…though, no one at the hospital believes he's forty-two so he won't be able to work there much longer either."

"So what are they waiting for then?" Nauhel asked. "To leave, I mean."

I shrugged. "The family has been talking about new places to live for the last year, but they haven't actually said anything about it to me." I glared out the window. "The naïve little half human isn't old enough to understand apparently." I muttered angrily.

It felt good to have my thoughts to myself. I had never shown anger or resentment to my parents for trying to keep me their little girl, but I had to wonder how stupid they thought I was. It was obvious that they were preparing to move on, I just didn't understand why I wasn't in on the decisions.

Nauhel didn't say anything about that and I was grateful. He didn't understand what it was like to be in my shoes. I was 'Renesme Cullen.' The half vampire that caught the Volturi's attention and almost ruined innocent vampire's lives.

Nauhel wasn't treated like a child growing up, which made me a little sad for him but mostly jealous. He changed his aunt when he was born and killed his mother so he had a newborn caretaker until he was already half grown.

Sure, I did too, but Bella had been anything but a normal newborn. It was like she jumped straight to aged vampire without having to give up her strength.

"You look tired." Nauhel commented. "Maybe you should rest before we get there. It is a long flight, after all."

I nodded, reclined my chair a little bit, and laid my head back.


	6. Jungle Cuisine

Dear Diary,

Life in the jungle is like nothing I've ever experienced. Nauhel has shown me new ways to hunt and it makes me wonder why my family hasn't ever tried it. Or maybe they have and are just refusing to teach me it because they think its too dangerous? Doesn't matter. I'm here and trying not to think of my family or it makes me homesick.

I never thought I would miss Forks so much. Like every little thing reminds me of someone or something from there. The dark cover of the trees on one of the particularly rainy days; the way I swear I hear wolves growling in the distance; the smell of deer blood; the way Huilen treats Nauhel like her own son. Everything.

Huilen is not like I remembered her from when I was little. Back at the Volturi stand off, she appeared to be this snobby foreigner that didn't much care for me. But here, in her own home, she was the nicest vampire I had met outside of my coven. She even had the Denali's beat.

The best part about her though is that she doesn't hover. I've been here for three weeks and whenever it looks like Nauhel and I are about to go for a hunt or get into a long conversation, she merely retreats to her own room or says she needs to go to the market to pick up more thread.

She makes both of their clothes by hand. Apparently, she had been a well sought after seamstress when she was human. Anyways, she was letting me borrow some of her things until she could make me my own Amazonian wardrobe.

If Aunt Alice could see me now, she'd probably kill me. Nothing she packed for me was practical for the jungle. Skin tight leggings, mini skirts, halter tops, heels? Seriously? My family _did _tell her I wasn't going to a club, right? Right now I can't be too sure.

Besides, my antelope skin dress was more comfortable than my jeans that conveniently got left at home. I would have to tell Bella about it when I returned home. If I even returned home! I was having so much fun here.

There were so many new animals here and I was eager to taste all of them. I spotted one lone cheetah on my first day, but Nauhel said I was imagining it. Cheetahs weren't native to this region, after all.

The easiest to catch were the antelope, chimpanzee, fox, monkey, white-tailed deer (much different than the reindeer and elk back home, by the way), baboon, and birds I couldn't pronounce the names of.

They each had their own distinct flavors, but the only one I particularly liked was the chimpanzee. It tasted the most like human blood and since I had had some as a baby, I would sometimes long for it.

Nauhel had me try some of the reptiles as well, though they weren't nearly as filling and I usually had to eat more than just one to get my fill.

Crocodile was the best. Lizards and snakes had too little blood in them to be satisfying and the turtles were too much of a pain to enjoy. They kept hiding in their shells and I'd have to break their home to get them out of it. Not fun when you're hungry.

I had yet to take down a cougar or a jaguar (two of the most powerful predators in the jungle). I had a couple weeks before I left to catch a few of those though so I wasn't that disappointed.

I did snag a lion two days ago though. It was exhilarating because it gave a great chase and I almost had Nauhel assist me in the kill, but decided to try it on my own. The king of the jungle went down like a light.

Today I was hunting for a Brown Bear. That might not seem like too much, but I wanted to try everything. We had Grizzlies and Black Bears back home, but no Brown Bears. I wanted to compare tastes.

"So you honestly don't eat that much human food?" I asked Nauhel as we were running across the jungle floor to where the Brown Bears were likely to be bathing in the summer's heat.

The entire time I've been here, we only ate human food once a week. Nauhel would cook a deer he caught, leaving the blood in it until he had cut off a chunk of it, and we'd have jungle version of steak. Even that was so raw that it was practically not cooked at all. I found some berries and nuts in the jungle close to the house and added it to our meal, much to Nauhel's amusement.

I didn't tell Nauhel this, but I was itching to get into town to eat some real food. At home, Bella and Edward had made me eat normal meals everyday except once a week when I hunted. My body still wasn't used to the complete 180 in my nourishment.

"No. I prefer blood. And since Huilen doesn't eat human food at all, it is easier this way." Nauhel commented, slowing down so we wouldn't run past the stream.

"Do you think that's why?" I asked, truly curious. Nauhel claimed I fascinated him, but he was the interesting one. "I mean, if you Huilen could eat both, do you think that you would still prefer what you do?"

"Now that's a thought to think about." Nauhel admitted. He shook his head. "It doesn't matter now though, does it? A little too late to change hundred year old habits."

"I guess you're right." I said, eying the bear that I wanted to tackle. "I call the third one to the right." I said, staring at its round stomach. Yum.

"You can't. That one is pregnant." Nauhel stated. "If we want any new bears next season, we need to not eat all the future cubs now."

I didn't correct him when he said 'we.' He subconsciously put me in the future tense with him whenever he talked so I was used to it now. I knew I would eventually have to correct him, but now wasn't the time.

I ended up choosing a smaller, much less appealing looking bear to take down. It tasted slightly sweeter than the bears back in Forks, but it put up less of a struggle so I knew Uncle Emmett would be disappointed with me for not choosing the biggest one.

"You were amazing, Little Cheetah." Nauhel complimented, a brilliant smile lighting up his face. There was a twinkle in his eye and I couldn't help but smile back at him.


	7. Realizations

Dear Diary,

I was starting to get really homesick and Nauhel had noticed. It was week four of my trip in the jungle, with four to go and I don't think that I could hold out until then. I needed my mommy, I needed my family, and I needed my Jacob.

I had my first scary dream of my family the first night here. But they were slowly getting more terrifying the longer I stayed here. Now instead of me just simply coming upon my mother and father looking dead, I saw Jacob as a bloody mess with his limbs chopped up in a pile. No matter how hard I tried to get to him in my dream, I was held back by something much stronger than my willpower.

"Don't be sad, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said as he threw his lifeless deer to the jungle floor and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He was a messier eater than any other vampire I knew.

"I…I just miss everything. Their pep talks, the way they always know what I want to do, the…oh, the dinners Jacob used to take me to!" I smiled happily at the memories.

Since Jacob was the only other person that needed actual food, we spent many a night going to dinner in Port Angeles or bonfires at First Beach with the rest of the wolves. It was like we were the only two people in the world when we were out to dinner. Emmett always teased me and said it was my 'date night' with Jake.

"Ah, your wolf friend?" Nauhel asked.

I tried to hide my blush. "Well, he's not really _mine, _you know, but I guess you could consider him that…but he was my 'eating buddy' as my mother liked to call him." I mumbled, embarrassed that I was thinking of Jacob again.

I had already told myself six times today that I wasn't allowed to think about him. It would only make my subconscious think of him when I fell asleep and he would die first in my dreams. I don't think I could handle seeing that any more; it broke my heart.

"Would you like to go to a dinner…with me?" Nauhel asked, catching me from my thoughts of Jacob.

"We had dinner at the house yesterday…" I said, confused.

"No, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said with a laugh. "I mean, at an actual restaurant like we did back in Forks."

He paused, his smile dropping a fraction of an inch when he noticed my expression not changing. "You do not have to, if you do not want to."

"No, its not that." I said, feeling shy. "Its just, I don't have anything to wear…" I said lamely. I don't know why I lied. Something told me that this was wrong. I didn't understand this feeling, but I couldn't seem to shake it.

Nauhel laughed, not sensing my internal distress. "You have more clothes than half the nearest village. You have enough clothes, both made from Huilen and brought from Alice, that you probably could change your outfit every hour and still have clothes left over."

I couldn't help but smile. That much was true at least. Alice had over packed to the extreme and Huilen had made it her pet project to make me a new outfit every two days. I wore the comfy animal's skins more often than the jeans and blouses because 1) Alice wasn't here to see what I wore and 2) Huilen was.

"I…" I suddenly realized that I didn't have a good excuse not to say yes. I smiled hesitantly. "I have been wanting to get some real food in my system for a while now."

"Splendid!" Nauhel said, the excitement evident in his tone.

Two hours later, I found myself putting on one of Alice's embarrassing outfits and putting on 'my face.' I hadn't applied make-up the entire time I'd been here, and had only just started wearing it right before my trip, so I probably looked like a clown. But I didn't care; I wanted this to be a special occasion.

I even straightened my hair; that's how big of a deal this was.

You see, Diary, I had finally decided to give up fighting against Nauhel's not-so-subtle flirting and hints at the possibility of an 'us.' I mean, seriously? What was I waiting for? Nauhel was like me in ways that no one else was. He understood me because he was like me; and that was something only his sisters could claim.

I didn't tell him any of this though. I was going to surprise him with the motivation part of the dinner.

"Wow." was the only thing that Nauhel said when I entered the kitchen from the spare bedroom that I had inhabited for the last month.

I blushed in response to his compliment. "Thank you." I muttered, looking down at my outfit.

I suddenly wished I had worn something less Rosalie-like.

The black backless halter top fitted nicely with the pink ruffled mini skirt. You couldn't tell that the shirt showed my back because with my hair straightened, it was even longer than the curly ringlets usually was, and it went down to the bottom of my back.

"Are you sure you can run in those?" Nauhel asked with a laugh as we made our way out the door and in the direction of the nearest town.

I nodded, laughing as I pretended to trip in my six inch black heels. "Just try to keep up." I teased and took off running.

Nauhel's laughter was literally bouncing off the trees as he chased after me.

* * *

**AN: I know this ends weird, but I promise the date scene will be in the next chapter.**


	8. Date

Dear Diary,

The restaurant Nauhel took me to was unlike anything in Forks or Port Angeles where Jake and I usually went.

The entire café was surrounded by water. Seriously. The windows were the only thing letting me know that little fact get to this café, we had to take a ferryboat out of the city and then we walked down the docks and even further down as the walls slowly formed around us.

It was the weirdest thing, but I couldn't deny that I was loving the exoticness of it.

"Well, what do you think?" Nauhel asked, his face showing the nervousness I was feeling. "We could go somewhere else…?" He said hesitantly, as if he were weighing my thoughts before he even processed his own.

Wow. I hadn't thought my opinion mattered that much to him.

I smiled 'dazzlingly' at him, a trick I learned from Daddy, and tried not to blush. "No, this is perfect."

We continued to make small talk for what seemed like forever until the waiter finally came by to take our order. He was cute by human standards, but I could smell the blood sloshing around in his veins and I knew I wouldn't even ever make it past my order if he kept standing so close to me.

I had been drinking blood far too often so my senses were on high alert to every blooded body within twenty miles. I had never realized how much my vampire heritage could effect me until it was all I was relying off of.

_Order me a tuna melt and side salad. _I thought to Nauhel, reaching over nonchalantly reaching for his hand under the table to send him the message.

He raised an eyebrow at me but didn't move to move my hand from on top of his, so I mentally added. _I need him to go away or he will become my dinner. _

Nauhel reacted quickly. "Um, I'd like a tuna melt with a side salad for the lady and a swordfish platter for myself." He said, addressing the short blonde who seemed to only be paying attention to me.

Nauhel cleared his throat. "Did you get that?" He asked when the waiter made no move to leave.

Blonde boy grunted. "Yeah, I got your order." He said, still not taking his eyes off of me. I felt like he was violating me with his eyes and I wanted it to stop.

"Is there anything else you needed?" Nauhel said a little protectively and I fought off the blush I could feel rising to my cheeks.

"Just her digits." Blondie said with a wink in my direction.

Nauhel growled. Before I knew what was happening, he pulled our joined hands out from under the table and set them on top for our flirty waiter to see.

"As you can see, she has no intention of wanting you to have her phone number." He said almost smugly.

The waiter took off after that, heading to the kitchen to give them our orders. I had a feeling we would have a different server by the time our food was done though. Not that I minded.

I had to admit, Nauhel taking charge like that was kind of adorable. I mean, he had always been semi-flirty with me, but he had never shown this side of his affection towards me. I think I could get used to this if we actually started dating.

Nauhel blushed.

Omg, I still had my hand over his. I was projecting all of this to him!

I tried to pull my hand away from him hastily, but Nauhel held it firmly.

"We have to talk about this." Nauhel said, gesturing towards our joined hands.

"Wha-what about it?" I stuttered, unable to keep my thoughts to myself and not trusting myself to even think anything at all.

"You have feelings for me, Little Cheetah." Nauhel stated with a small grin. "Don't try to lie, Renesme, I already know you are attracted to me."

"I…" I said brilliantly, not looking him in the eye but staring at him nonetheless. I could sense his worry and that made me feel guilty.

_This is new to me. _I sent to him, too embarrassed to say the words aloud. _I've never felt anything towards anybody and…and I'm scared._

Nauhel laughed teasingly, calming my nerves with his deep tenor. "No need to be fearful, Cheetah. You are a teenager, as am I physically, and this is all normal. Though, how humans came up with the term 'butterflies' is beyond me."

I giggled despite myself. "You have butterflies too?" I asked, hoping he said yes and I wasn't the only one feeling foolish.

"Butterflies? More like a hornets nest." Nauhel said with a grin. "You are quite the woman to behold, Little Cheetah."

"I'm not even sixteen yet." I stated and Nauhel laughed heartedly this time.

"Renesme, have you seen yourself lately?" He asked and I blushed. "You are not the fifteen year old you came to the Amazon as."

He paused, as if not sure if he should say what else was on his mind.

_Go on. _I urged. _You can tell me anything. _

"I was just going to say that I hoped I had something to do with your sudden, unexpected growth." Nauhel admitted with a faint blush on his cheeks.

I raised an eyebrow in response. That didn't make any sense.

"My youngest sister Queue was like you." Nauhel said. "She grew faster than normal because she found her mate, Ryman when she was physically fourteen. All it took was a crush for her to grow two feet seemingly overnight."

"So she was fully grown after that?" I asked, curious if I was finally done with my changes or if I had another ten months and change like planned.

"Not quite." Nauhel said with a wry smile. "She just jumped a few steps on the way…but maybe you will be done since you were already older than her when you developed your, um, crush." Another blush.

Our food arrived, bringing us back to reality and the role we had to play as normal humans, and I blushed when Nauhel picked up his fork with his left hand so he could keep his hand on mine.

Yep, this was definitely going to take some getting used to.


	9. Nightmare

Dear Diary,

_I found myself deep in the woods of the Amazon forest, chasing Nauhel because he wanted to see who was faster. As I was gaining on him, he suddenly turned around and his face morphed. _

_Instead of Nauhel's light skin, I saw a deep russet skin tone. Slowly, he phased completely into my favorite wolf…Jacob Black._

_I was stunned, so I staggered in my run as Jake-wolf kept running ahead, his brown eyes pleading with me to follow him._

_I tried to catch up to him but a thick fog covered the forest out of nowhere and I was having difficulty seeing. Which for a half-vampire, never happens._

_Jake-wolf rounded a corner and I lost him from my eye line. My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach and I pumped my legs harder, willing myself to run faster than I already was. Something was wrong._

_When Jacob finally came into view, I nearly threw up. His fur was matted with blood and it looked like he had the blood literally drained out of him. I couldn't hear his ever constant heartbeat and I did a three-sixty of the area to find out what happened. _

_Another wolf came into view, a cocky grin on her face. Though I had never seen her in wolf form, I knew that it was Sara, Leah's niece. The two shared similar coloring of fur, but I would know Leah anywhere and this girl was not her._

"_You could have saved him, you __know." The wolf taunted; shocking me because none of the wolves can be understood when they are in animal form._

"_I…I tried. I…I didn't know anything was wrong." I stuttered but Sara only grinned wider._

"_Whatever you say, _Nessie_." Sara said, her voice sounding teasing at my nickname from __Jake. _

_Suddenly, Jacob's body and Sara's taunting smirk were gone. _

_Edward and Bella Cullen stepped out of the shadows wearing black in mourning, unrealistic tears running down their sparkling cheeks. Edward refused to look at me as I screamed for them, but Bella turned to glare._

"_You killed my best friend." She accused and I gasped. There was no way that I would ever hurt Jacob and she knew it._

"_I…I didn't. I didn't, Mommy." I said pleadingly, begging her to believe me._

"_You killed my best friend." She repeated __again and suddenly they, too, were gone._

That was when I woke up to the sound of a bloody murder scream. I only noticed that I was the one who let out the scream when I saw the two figures standing at the doorway.

Nauhel and Huilen were at my side, each with puzzled looks on their faces. I pulled the covers tighter around myself and pulled my knees to my chest.

"Sorry." I muttered half heartedly. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"Are you alright, Renesme?" Huilen asked, eying the way I was still shaking.

"Yeah, bad dream." I said lamely.

"It is alright, my Aunt." Nauhel said. "It is the human in us."

Huilen nodded and left the room. When Nauhel made no move to leave, I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Do not be alarmed, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said, holding his hands up in defense as he made his way to the edge of my bed and sat down. "I only wish to comfort you with my presence."

He paused, eyeing my shivering form. "I can leave if I am making you uncomfortable." He stated but I smiled shyly so he would know that wasn't what I wanted. He smiled in return and I thought again of my dream.

"I just have a feeling that something bad is happening at home." I said quietly, not meeting his questioning gaze.

"Ah, you are 'homesick' then?" Nauhel asked seriously.

"I…well…" I stuttered, not sure what to tell him. We hadn't talked about my homesickness-ness for two weeks now; the day we went on our first date This was the first scary dream I had had since that day and I was honestly starting to believe that I was okay here. I didn't want him to think I was a baby again.

"Yes." I finally admitted, turning my burning cheeks away from his gaze.

"We shall bring you home then." Nauhel stated, catching me off guard. I swerved my head to look at him and was surprised to see him this close to me. He was literally inches from my face.

"You'd take me home early?" I asked to double check that I'd heard him right.

"You were only scheduled to be with Huilen for two more weeks. A little early flight back home will not upset my aunt too badly." Nauhel said, his breath tickling my face as he spoke.

I also noticed the fact that he didn't add himself into the sentence.

"Are you sure that you don't mind me leaving early?" I asked, hating the butterflies that were pounding away in my stomach. I felt selfish, but I didn't want to leave Nauhel. He was my first boyfriend and the only other person like me.

"I will accompany you, if you wish." Nauhel said nonchalantly.

_But is that what you want?_ I sent to him, grabbing a hold of his hand.

Nauhel blushed scarlet. "I wish to be by your side at all times, Little Cheetah." He admitted and I blushed in return.

"That would be…nice." I said, trying not to blush anymore than I already was.

Though we had been having dinners in town every other day and hunting together nonstop for the last two weeks, we hadn't ever really talked about our relationship status. We held hands under tables and hugged after every animal was taken down during a hunt, but that hardly constituted an 'us' conversation.

Suddenly, something warm and sticky was on my lips. I glanced down panicky but relaxed when I noticed it was only Nauhel's lips. I knew enough about teenagers from Aunt Rose's magazines to know that kissing was definitely something that was acceptable.

So why did it feel wrong?

I moved against his lips, trying to make it more enjoyable, but I wasn't sure I was doing it right or not so I still felt self-conscious. When his hands found their way into my hair, I didn't know what to do. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

Nauhel pulled back and I could see the hurt in his eyes. Oh no! I had been projecting that to him…

"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time, neither one looking at the other.

I laughed. "In case you couldn't tell, that was my first kiss." I stated, feeling shy and inexperienced. Here was a guy who's had over a hundred years to practice and I was a rookie.

"It is nothing to be embarrassed about, Little Cheetah." Nauhel stated, pulling one of my curls out of the way of my face and tucking it behind my ear. "You were wonderfully unique." He admitted with a blush.

"Have you ever…" I half-asked, knowing full well that I was not his first kiss.

"A few times over the years. Two humans and twenty-nine vampires." He said nonchalantly.

I was number thirty-two? Somehow, that felt like a stab in the heart.

_He's been around a lot longer than your six and a half years of life. Of course he wanted to kiss other girls. _I said to myself stubbornly.

I met his gaze hesitantly and he grinned. "But you have been my favorite."

That perked up my thoughts. _So I wasn't terrible? _I sent to him, trying not to sound like an immature teenager.

"You most definitely were not." Nauhel said, his grin widening.

I tapped my finger on my chin, pretending to be thinking hard. "Well, maybe I should get some more practice…you know, in case you're lying to me." I said, grinning back at him.

"As you wish, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said and captured my lips with his own again.


	10. Heading Home

Dear Diary,

Today I was headed home. Somehow, in the back of my mind, this seemed like a bigger deal than it was, but I pushed that aside. I tried not to think of the fact that I would be bringing my _boyfriend _home with me.

As we finished packing, I thought of how my family would react to the news.

Aunt Rose would be thrilled. She always loved Nauhel because he was like me and she wanted me to be happy. Though I would never hear the end of it from my playful uncle. Emmett would probably tease me about dating a 'jungle boy' and such.

Aunty Alice would be flying high. Just think of all the outfits she'd want to buy me for my future dates. Uncle Jasper would probably feel whatever Alice feels because they are so connected; though, he wouldn't show it as much.

Carlisle and Esme wouldn't be a problem; they supported whatever decision I made. I was lucky to have grandparents like them.

Mama and Daddy were another story. They hated when I grew up and I knew that coming home as a more mature, no longer single teenager might not settle well with them; Edward especially. Bella allowed me more room to grow than he did, but she still tried to keep me as her baby.

And Jacob. Well, I didn't want to think of what my best friend would think about my relationship with Nauhel. We weren't exactly on the best terms when I left and I don't think that not talking to him the entire time I was in the Amazon is going to help ease the situation any.

I had never had a secret from Jacob, but now I had a major one. I had a freakin' boyfriend and my best friend didn't even know yet! Suddenly, I was anxious to be back in Forks.

"Ready to go, Little Cheetah?" Nauhel asked from the doorway to my bedroom.

I nodded, zipping up my suitcase to prove the point, and grabbed the full bag from the handle. Huilen was waiting in the kitchen area with open arms.

Though she hadn't liked me much when I first showed up, now I thought of her as one of my own aunts. She was family now.

"Thank you so much for the clothes." I said genuinely, glancing down at the deerskin dress and homemade silver stone necklace that complimented Alice's silver heels. The necklace had been a gift from Huilen that she spent all night working on once she found out that Nauhel and I planned to return to the States so soon.

"It is no problem, young Renesme." Huilen said. "I am happy to provide anything that you need." She eyed her nephew hovering behind me and chuckled lightly.

"Take good care of my nephew." She paused, when he rolled his eyes in response, and just smiled sadly. "Do not break his heart, Renesme. He is half human after all." She joked, but I could hear the seriousness behind her words.

"I…I promise." I replied, hugging her once more before we had to leave.

"You are welcome to come back whenever you desire it." Huilen said, trying to hold me closer. "It feels like more of a home with you here in the jungle with us."

"Its been fun in the jungle, but I think I'm a forest girl at heart." I joked, referring to my home in the wooded forest of Forks, Washington.

"Still. Just know that the offer will always stand." Huilen said.

She didn't mention it, but from what Nauhel said about past conversations with his aunt, I reminded Huilen of her sister; Nauhel's dead human mother.

"I'll remember that." I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry, but we really have to leave if we want to catch our flight." Nauhel said, grabbing both his bag and mine as he headed to the front door of the hut.

I smiled at Huilen one last time and follow Nauhel out of the hut. I reached for my bag but he wouldn't hand it over. Instead, he placed both suitcases in one hand and tucked my arm under his other one.

"Are you ready to face my family?" I teased.

"Hmm?" He replied, not fully paying attention as we loaded the plane. "Your family?"

"Yeah." I said with a giggle. "My crazy, overprotective vampire family that doesn't want their little girl to grow up. You're the first boy I've brought home so I'm not sure how they'll react."

Nauhel half smiled. "Your family is not who I am worried about." He said, but when he didn't explain further, I frowned.

"Who are you worried about then?" I asked, laughing at his expression.

I could barely hear him as the plane engines roared to life, but it sounded an awful lot like "Jacob Black."


	11. Big News

Dear Diary,

"Daddy!" I yelled the second my family came into view. Edward raced to my side in an instant, the fastest of my vampire relatives, and pulled me into a tight embrace. He scowled at Nauhel, but otherwise kept a crooked smile on his face.

"Nessie, baby." Bella spoke up, wrapping her cold arms around me as well. The two of them had me squished together in a Renesme sandwich.

"Human. Needs. Air." I teased, pretending to be suffocating. Truth was, I just wanted to greet my other family members as well. I hadn't seen any of them in a whole month and I missed them all terribly.

"Aunty Alice!" I yelled, tackling the pixie to the ground. She huffed playfully, looking down at her designer outfit and then at my jungle dress, and frowned slightly. "Oh, no. Alice, you know how much I love you dressing me all the time, but I like this dress so if I find it in the Goodwill pile, I will personally burn your new Chanel dress." I threatened darkly.

"Worse than your mother." She muttered in defeat.

She was sort of right. Momma liked jeans and sweaters; I liked homemade animal skin dresses.

"Hey, don't I get a hug from my favorite niece, too?" Emmett asked jokingly. He didn't wait for my answer, instead he simply picked me up and squished me into a big bear hug. He might look like a bodybuilder, but on the inside, he was just a loveable teddy bear.

"I'm your only niece, Uncle Em." I said, rolling my eyes playfully. "But, if it makes you feel any better, I missed you too."

He ruffled my hair when he set me down, earning himself a glare from Alice, and passed me off to Aunt Rosalie. She was grinning like crazy and eyeing Nauhel's protective stance behind me with pride. Well, that was one person that knew already; not counting Daddy, of course.

"I see some time away has done good to your sanity." Rose said cryptically. Edward growled under his breath, but we all heard it nonetheless. There was no stopping anything or trying to keep a secret with vampire ears. "You are just biased, Edward…"

I shook my head, not sure what she meant by that, and hugged her tighter.

Jasper stood off a ways and I could see the dark circles under his eyes. Oops, I guess our surprise arrival interrupted his hunting schedule. I would have to give him a proper greeting once he was well fed, but for now I just waved shyly and turned my attention back to the rest of my family.

Carlisle and Esme were no where to be found and I frowned. I was really hoping my whole family would have been here to greet me.

"They're setting up the house with some of the Pack members." Edward whispered in my ear, startling me by coming out of nowhere. I was used to Huilen giving me plenty of space and Nauhel's slower speeds that being around my family again was going to take some getting used to.

"Is Jacob there?" I asked back, trying to be just as quiet as he had been. "I have something to tell you guys and I want everyone to be there."

Rose, Alice, Emmett, and Jasper took off in the Jeep then, saying they'd meet us at home. I got in the backseat with Nauhel. Daddy was at the wheel and Momma was pretending not to be listening in on our conversation. Nauhel, too, kept out of it and I was grateful.

"Ness, I really think that you should wait to tell Jake that…" Edward said, glancing at Nauhel with knowing eyes before meeting my curious gaze. "He needs you for a few days to himself before he will be able to process any more big news."

"More big news?" I asked skeptically. "Why? What happened?"

"I think Jacob will want to tell you himself." Bella said sadly. Why would I have thought that I was having a private conversation?

"Tell me what?" I asked again. "Is Jake hurt? Is it the Pack?"

When I mentioned Jake, Nauhel started playing with a strand of my hair. He seemed to be trying to distract himself, but I could see the desire in his eyes. Ever since our first kiss, he had been staring at me like that a lot. I was a little unsettled by it, to tell you the truth.

Bella and Edward glanced at one another, trying to decide something, when suddenly Edward growled again and slammed his hand against the steering wheel. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in aggravation, but still managed to keep the car steady and the speed at well over ninety miles an hour.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself." He said angrily at Nauhel, but my boyfriend didn't seem phased by it. He simply shrugged and continued playing with one of my curls.

"Momma, please? Tell me what the big news is that you guys so obviously don't want to tell me." I begged, trying to ignore Nauhel. There were bigger things right now than my boyfriend acting like a hormonal teenager. Jacob was in trouble. "If I'm going to be keeping a secret about dating Nauhel, then I want to know why."

"She does have a right to know…" Bella said quietly. "Besides, its not like she won't find out in a few minutes anyway…"

"Fine." Edward finally agreed, as we turned into our overlong driveway. Wow, the drive here flew by. I didn't even notice we left the airport.

"So, what's the big secret?" I asked once again, hoping that this time I would find out the truth.

I heard the Pack, most of my family, and my few human relatives shout "Welcome Home!" at the same time that Edward whispered, "Billy died."

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**AN: I know. Boo me :( but I had to do it. Don't kill me.**


	12. Grieving

**AN: This one might be kinda sad. I know I was tearing up just writing it, but maybe its only me lol**

* * *

Dear Diary,

"Little Che-" Nauhel said when we entered the house, but I ignored him. I needed to find my Jacob; now.

I smiled briefly when I passed Charlie and Sue with Leah, Seth, and a girl that I didn't recognize by name from the Rez, but otherwise didn't stop to chat with anyone when I got to the living room.

My vampire relatives pretended to make themselves busy, but I knew they all heard what Edward had said. And by the look in a few of the Pack members' eyes, they knew too.

I finally found Jake outside, sitting on the back porch with his head in his hands and a neatly wrapped gift next to him. I sat down on his other side and leaned my head against his muscley arm.

He stiffened momentarily before pulling me onto his lap so his arms were wrapped completely around me in a position he hadn't held me in since I was a toddler. I could feel the tears hitting the back of my shirt, but I didn't mention it. Jacob needed this.

"I'm so sorry, Jake." I whispered ever so quietly.

"Wasn't your fault." He replied a moment later, sounding almost dead.

"Jake, show me what happened." I asked quietly. "I want to know."

"You sure?" He asked, sounding heartbroken and nervous for some reason.

I turned to face him, craning my neck to meet his sad brown eyes, and placed my hand on his cheek like I used to have to do before I mastered my gift. Jake smiled at the gesture though.

"You don't have to." I admitted, hovering my hand over his cheek to prove my statement.

"No, no. You were like family to him and I know he would want you to be around when it happened," I tried not to look away guiltily when he said that, "but this is the next best thing."

Over the years, I had learned to control my ability to where not only could I project my thoughts into someone's head by touching any part of their body, but I could also hear someone else's thoughts in my head if I concentrated enough and maintained physical contact with them. I really did have a combination of my parents gifts.

I placed my hand back on Jake's cheek, relishing in the familiar warmth that I missed so much, and started pulling his thoughts as my own.

_Jake walked into a medium sized room and knelt by the blue wooden bed. I could see Jake's reflection in the mirror, as well as Billy on the bed, but he chose to look at Billy so my vision cut off the image of the calm-looking exterior that Jake was trying to pass off. _

"_Marry her." Billy spoke up after what seemed like weeks of silence. _

"_Wh-what?" Jake asked, startled by the break in the silence. _

"_That's my dying wish." He joked, but there was seriousness in his tone. "I want you to be happy, son. Don't wait around forever."_

"_I wo-" Jake started, but Billy's coughing fit cut him off._

"_Listen to me. I know you haven't known her long, but I can see the way you look at her. There is more love in your eyes than I have ever seen in anyone else's except your mother's when she was still breathing." Billy said with a rare small smile. _

"_Don't leave me." Jake begged his father when Billy started clutching at his chest and coughing uncontrollably again. "Dad, I need you. Please, don't leave me."_

"_I'm sorry." Billy managed to wheeze out. "Take care of your sisters for me." Jake gripped tighter to Billy's hand, but his father looked more peaceful than I had ever seen him my whole life. "I'm going to see my Sarah." He mouthed, too exhausted to even whisper the words. _

_And like that, he was gone. His body went limp, his chest stopped pumping air, and his heart no longer let out a stable beat. _

"Oh, Jacob!" I exclaimed, feeling hot tears rolling down my own cheeks as I gripped myself tighter to him. He always knew how to comfort me, but just this once, I was going to show him that I was just as good of a friend to him as he was to me.

"Shh, shh, Nessie, its okay." He said, trying to soothe me.

No, this wasn't what I was trying to do. I wanted to be the strong one for once. Jake needed to let this all out.

I looked up at him, forcing my own tears to stop, and whispered, "I'm so sorry. When did it happen?"

"Nessie, I missed you so much." He said, trying to change the subject; not that I would stop him though. "A month is way too long to go without seeing you everyday." He mumbled, burring his head in the crook of my neck like I did to him when I was littler and was throwing a fit. "Promise me you won't leave for that long again."

I felt something change between us in that moment, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. "I promise." I agreed, having no intention of ever leaving home again.

We sat like that for a while, him occasionally crying and me rubbing his back and telling him it was going to be okay and I was there for him. The reverse of roles was strange but I liked being 'Jacob' to Jake for a change. He was always so caring, always putting my needs above his own, but not this time.

"Nessie," He finally whispered after an hour of silence. I looked up and could see that the sun had set long ago and that most of my party guests were probably already sent home.

"Yeah, Jake?" I said just as quietly as he had, my breath tickling his lips from our close position.

There was a confession in his eyes, but when he finally spoke again, I knew that it wasn't what he wanted to say. "Um, I think you should get some rest." He said earnestly, wiping away a few drying tears from his face and scooting me off his lap.

"Jake..." I said, trying to delay this moment with him; but he was already standing up and leading me to the little cottage.

I smiled behind his back. He knew me so well. I didn't even have to mention to him that I didn't want to face my family again tonight if I slept in the main house like usual; Jacob just knew.

When he had me safely tucked in my King size bed, I patted the empty space beside me. He and I both knew that if he went home that he wouldn't get a lick of sleep. He frowned, glancing at the door nervously before he finally crawled on top of the covers next to me.

"This morning." Jake muttered bleakly, almost too quiet for me to hear. "Billy died this morning..."

That set Jake off in another round of tears and I struggled to keep him calm this time. Now that we weren't within earshot of my party, Jake seemed to really be letting it all out.

His words got me thinking, though. I had been so close to being here for it. So close to getting to say my last goodbyes to the man who was like my second grandfather to me. I knew there was something pulling me to go home for the last couple of days, but I just ignored it. Stupid, stupid Nessie.

"Ness, don't leave me." He started frantically pleading. "Mom left, Rebecca left, Bella left, Billy left. I don't think I could stand it if you left me." He had stopped sobbing, but was now frantically begging me. I didn't mention that his sister was still alive, she just moved, or that Momma was in the big house.

"Shh, Jake. Its gonna be okay." I whispered over and over again. "I'm right here." It pained me to see him hurting like this. "I'm not going anywhere."


	13. Home

Dear Diary,

I woke up to familiar, yet startlingly close, snoring and momentarily freaked out. I opened my eyes quickly and glanced around the room. Instead of the cramped spare room in Hulien's jungle hut, I was in my bedroom in the little cottage with Jacob in bed beside me. I let a brief smile cross my lips at the sight of my very best friend taking up most of my King sized bed.

Then I remembered why he was here with me and not at home in La Push. His father just died. Yesterday. And I wasn't here to comfort him or say my final goodbyes to Billy like I should have been. Stupid, stupid Nessie.

Suddenly, Jake woke up and sat up in bed with a start.

"Whaaa..." He asked, looking at me, then my bed, then me again before finally staring at the wooden door with panic. "Sh...oot."

I let out a giggle, bringing him out of his crazed expression, and stared at him until he calmed down enough to meet my eyes.

Light bulbs seemed to go off above his head as everything clicked into place.

"You're back." My Jacob stated as he laid against the head board.

"I'm back." I said, curling up against him when he stretched his arm out for me to join him.

"Billy's dead." He said with the most nonchalaunt tone I have ever heard from him.

"I know, Jake. I'm sorry." I said soothingly, despite his efforts to make it seem like he did not care.

We lapsed into silence after that. Neither of us having anything to say to the other, or, in my case, not wanting to upset the other.

"Sooo..." Jake said at the same time I did.

I let out a nervous giggle and he graced me with a half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You go first." I promted, not sure how he would take the news of my new relationship status in his condition. Daddy had said not to tell Jake just yet and I knew it had to be for a good reason. Besides, I didn't want to ruin what little time I had with Jake before his Pack took him away from me like before my trip.

"It's alright, I was just going to ask you about your trip." Jake said, his tone tenser than it had been before. It was almost as if he was trying to make the words sound nicer than he really meant them to sound. "Did you have fun with Huilen and Nauhel?"

I smiled, deciding to explain my whole trip (minus the "boyfriend" part) through my gift. It was better than me rambling anyways.

I held my hand up inches from his face and raised an eyebrow at him. "May I?" I heard my voice ask quietly.

Jake let out a wholehearted, booming laugh at that. "As if you even have to ask. What happened to my fearless Nessie?" He teased. "Don't tell me the jungle has turned you timid?"

I simply stuck my tongue out at him and continued anyways. He wants to be childish, let him. Two don't have to play this game. I reached over and placed my cold hand on his burning cheek, shivering when he sighed and closed his eyes.

I showed him images of the long flight there, Huilen welcoming me as if I were her own flesh and blood, the beautiful dresses she made me, Nauhel teaching me how to hunt "jungle style," taking down my first chimpanzee, feeling guilty for wanting to kill the huge pregnant Brown Bear, bathing in the creek and how gross I found it, eating out at the underwater cafe with Nauhel, and the incredible freedom I had without my family looming behind my shoulder wherever I went.

And as an unconscious added bonus, I sent him an image of my worst nightmare. The one where Jake was mangled, Sara was blaming me, and my own parents were accusing me of his murder.

I pulled my hand away quickly, startled that I had sent that at all when I hadn't even been thinking about it. Jake looked equally as confused as I did.

"Was that a dream?" Jacob asked hesitantly. He knew as well as I did that I rarely drempt during my whole life. It had only been since my sixth birthday that I drempt anything at all; and for most of that time I was in the Amazons.

"Yes." I whispered. "I've been dreaming a lot." I confessed, my eyes searching the room instead of looking at him like I knew he wanted.

"That would never happen, you know." Jake said quietly. "You could never hurt me."

I simply nodded, still not meeting his gaze, and tried not to think about the details of the nightmare. I didn't really want to keep talking about my terrible recurring dream any longer, but I also knew that Jake probably wouldn't want me to be worried about him.

"What was it you wanted to say earlier?" Jake asked a minute later when I still hadn't said anything. I could tell that he was still thinking about something, but we both knew that I wanted to drop this subject.

"Oh, uh, nothing important." I lied. "I'll tell you eventually." I glanced at the door, hearing the subtle hints from my parents that they knew we were awake and were trying to purposely make noise so we could hear them, and sighed. "But right now, I have a family of vampires that are craving my attention."

I push off against Jake, sat on the edge of the bed, and glanced down at my clothing. I was still in my favorite animal skin dress from the plane ride yesterday. In my haste last night, I forgot to get in my pj's. Oops. For some reason, I thought this was hilarious and started giggling again.

"What's so funny?" My Jacob asked as he stood up and came over to help me up.

"My outfit." I managed to get out between giggles. He stared at me strangely but I hardly took any notice.

"Do you need to change?" He asked politely, glancing at the outfit hanging on the doorknob that Aunt Alice had set aside for me sometime during the night. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and nodded. "I'll be outside to escourt you to the Main House when you're done." He said, stepping out of the room quickly.

The second he was gone, my previous giggly mood vanished. I was somber as I dressed in record time. I threw the mini skirt and heels on my floor and instead grabbed my hidden pair of jeans from under the mattress and slipped those on instead. The shirt she chose wasn't half bad though so I decided to humor her. The emrald color brought out the red in my hair so I knew that she had wanted me to be dressed up for something. I only wore this shade whenever somethng important, like a birthday, occured.

I wasn't the only one to take notice of this fact either. The moment I opened the door (2.00004 seconds later), Jacob's eyes popped. "You're wearing green." He said unsure.

I nodded, too happy to be back in his presence to care about whatever the family's secret was. Those two seconds felt like an eternity for some odd reason.

We stepped out into the living room, smiling at my parents as we headed to the Main House. Mama looked torn, her eyes shifting between the two of us, and Daddy looked resolved about something. He caught Jacob's eyes and sent him a warning glance; not a threatening one like he'd given Nauhel yesterday in the car, but a warning nonetheless. Jake nodded before pulling outside into the cold morning air.

I shivered involuntary and wrapped my arms around myself in a lame attempt to keep the chill away. Jacob half smiled down at me, shrugging off his jacket and placing it around my shoulders before I had a chance to object.

"Since when are you cold?" Jacob teased. "I thought vampires couldn't get cold."

"I'm only half, remember?" I scoffed. "Besides, the weather is humider in the jungle than in the rainy forest." I added. "It'll take some time to get used to Forks again."

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**AN: I'M ALIVE! Sorry for no updates lately, but I've been busy with school and it's killing my free time. Review :)**


	14. Surprise Party

Dear Diary,

Yesterday did not go how I was expecting it. Let me start off by saying that the family caught me off guard. That's not an excuse, but it's true. So whatever you read after this is all based upon that fact.

When Jake and I entered the Main House through the kitchen door, we were startled with "surprise!"'s from numerous voices. And by "we," I of course mean "me." Jake was startled as much as I was, but it wasn't his name written on the banner in the living room; no, it was mine.

I glared at my vampire relatives, refusing to even acknowledge them, as I made my way into the living room. I tried to ignore the "Happy 17th, Renesmee!" banner, but it was shouting at me from the corner of my eye wherever I went.

I smiled briefly at Charlie and Sue in the far corner with mixed expressions, but they smiled at me and Jacob when we made our way towards the living room.

The three new wolves, Sara (who kept giving me angry glares) and the twins, who I still didn't know the names of, were sitting on the black loveseat like strangers. The taller one looked like he was about to phase from the vampire scents, but the shorter of the two looked like he was excited to be here. He reminded me of a younger version of Seth; trying to take down the Volturi at such a young age.

Speak of the devil, Seth appeared from the front of the house and frowned when he saw me. "Aw man, I missed the 'surprises'?" He whined playfully. "I really wanted to see Nessie's reaction to her party."

The girl standing behind him glanced at me jealously, her light rusett skin tinging pink and making her soft brown hair look lighter. Leah rolled her eyes at the girl, but didn't say anything. She did come over and talk to me though. "So how was your trip? Meet any cute guys?"

Jake let out a growl, but Leah only grinned. "I was talking about for me, of course. Lord knows I wouldn't be talking about for her." She turned her attention back to me with a quick flip of the bird to Jacob. "Our Almighty Leader has gone crazy without you, Ness. Seriously, don't put us through the hasle of having to deal with him without you again." She teased, "Well, with the new wolves to train and Seth imprinting, I haven't had to put up with Jake that much."

"Seth imprinted?" I asked, not sure why the word sounded so weigted on my tongue. Jake hadn't ever explained it to me and every time I tried to ask about it, he would distract me somehow. Now I was curious.

"Yeah." Leah said in a duh tone. "That brunette over there is Jenny. She was visiting La Push to find her birth parents when Seth met her..."

"Enough about that." Jake said, his Alpha tone seaping through as he dismissed Leah. "You guys can talk later." He said in a voice that meant he probably wouldn't let her. Instead, he pulled me over to an empy couch across from Sara and the twins, with the third couch left empty. The whole room had been rearranged since last night.

"So did Jenny figure out who her parents were?" I asked, redirecting my line of questioning. Whatever 'imprinting' was, Jake obviously did not want me to find out about it.

"Well..." Jake stuttered, glancing at the three new wolves with an expression that I could not quite place.

"Happy Seventeenth, sweetie" Esme unintentionally interupted as she came to sit on the couch not occupied yet.

"Thank you, Grandma." I said as sweetly as I could. I knew that this party was all Alice's doing, though the little pixie was nowhere in sight.

"You're so grown up, Nessie." Carlise commented, taking the seat next to his young vampire wife. "It feels like you were gone six months instead of six weeks."

"I know. A lot has changed." I muttered quietly, glancing at Nauhel on the other side of the room. Jake was still by my side, his body wedged close to mine on the loveseat, and I could see that Nauhel was not happy about it.

"That it has." Carlise laughed. "We'll have to take your measurements later today so we can calculate just how old you actually are now. Seventeen is the rough estimation since you are clearly older than the fifteen and a half you left as."

I gave my grandparents a 'lets just do it now so I can ditch this stupid party that I did not even want' look, so Esme added. "After Alice's wonderful party, that is."

"I thought birthday girls were supposed to get their way." I half-whined even though I knew that this party was something I couldn't get out of no matter how much I cried.

"You can have your way with me." One of the twins said saultery. The taller, identical brother beside him slapped the back of his head as Jacob stared angrily at him. Daddy sent the boy his own glare, but remained on the far wall near Mama and Jasper.

"Quin, if I ever hear you speak like that again, I'll have you pulling double shifts for a month, you got that?" Jake quietly growled, authority ringing in his voice.

The taller twin shook his head ashamedly. "I appologize for my brother. He has a one track mind, if you know what I mean." He said with a playful raise of the eyebrows. "I'm Micah Sqyures, by the way, and this is my twin Quincy Ray."

"It's Quin." The shorter twin growled.

"It's alright." I said, placing my arm on Jake's muscley arm to calm him down. "Nice to meet you both." I nodded at Sara, who's face was still familiar thanks to that creepy dream I'd been having. "You're Leah's cousin, right?" I asked.

She nodded. "I'm Sara Clearwater." She had this faraway, half angry look in her eyes and the wolves around me quieted.

"So Harry was your uncle?" I promted when no one spoke.

"Uncle Harry wasn't just my uncle, he was my favorite person in the world." Sara said sadly. "It wasn't until I returned that I found out he had passed away years ago. Dad didn't care enough about us to stick around when I was born, but Uncle Harry sought me out when my mom sent word to La Push that she was pregnant."

"That really is quite sad." Esme said, her heartshaped face losing some of its normal happy glow.

"Nessie! Get in here!" Alice yelled from the kitchen. "We're cutting the cake as soon as you make a wish!"

"Cake!" The wolves yelled, urging me to go to the kitchen. Jake pulled my hand gently, leading the way to the overcrowded dining area. Nauhel made his way over to me and grabbed hold of my other hand.

The second I moved to blow out my candles, that little fact was brought to Jake's attention and he pulled me almost roughly closer to himself. Nauhel felt the shift and pulled me in his own direction.

'Don't let them kill each other' was the last thought I had before I exhaled and Rosalie snapped the picture.


	15. Fights

Dear Diary,

I don't know how it got this screwed up. One minute I had my best friend Jake and my boyfriend Nauhel both happy as clams, and the next...well I'm not sure where I stand with either right now. Things ended kind of badly at my birthday party.

_Flashback_

_"Take your hands off of her!" Jacob growled at Nauhel right after I blew out my candles. "You have no right to be here!"_

_Both boys had possesion of one of my hands, and were both trying to maintain dominance. _

_"I have every right to be here." Nauhel countered, slightly calmer than Jake was. "I am a guest of the Cullens."_

_"I don't think Nessie appreciates you holding her hand like you own her." Jacob said spitfully, glaring at Edward for support. _

_My father simply shook his head in disagreement. _

_"I know for a fact that Renesme does not mind." Nauhel said, glancing at me with a grin. "Isn't that right, Little Cheetah?"_

_"He's her boyfriend." Rosalie said plainly, a twinkle in her eyes as she saw how the news was affecting my Jacob. "Anyone with half a brain realized it the moment she came home."_

_"Bu..." Jake seemed at a loss for words, so he stared at Nauhel's hand intertwined with mine instead. Nauhel had a smug smirk on his face like he knew he won some battle. _

_In truth, I wasn't sure why Jake was so upset. I mean, he was my best friend and I usually told him things right away, but that little fact shouldn't cause this much drama. Daddy had only said not to bombard Jake with the news so soon after Billy's death, so I assumed it was because he didn't want anything else to change in Jake's life until he had time to cope. Right now my Jacob needed a friend, and that was what I was trying to be. I don't understand why Jake was taking this so hard. _

_"You're right." Jake said suddenly. "I have no right to be upset." _

_With one last glare at Nauhel, and a kiss to the top of my curls, Jacob exited the Main House. I could hear the rythm of his footsteps for almost a mile before anyone made a move._

_"Talk about a buzz kill." Jasper joked somberly, picking up on the new mood in the house._

_"I'd better go talk to him." Leah said, heading off in the direction of the front door. "You got the pups under control, Seth?" She asked her brother who nodded in response. _

_In the end, the rest of the wolves ended up heading back to La Push with Grandpa Charlie, Sue, and Seth's Jenny right after that. Being in a house full of vampires without their Alpha was kind of unsettling for the new, young wolves. Seth was the only one other than Charlie that was upset to be leaving my 'super fun' birthday party. _

_"Let's get on with the activities..." Esme suggested, trying her hardest to shift the party back into celebrating mode. _

_We ate the cake next. Or rather, I ate three bites of my double fudge triple layer cake while Nauhel nibbled at his slice and the rest of my family stared at us half human freaks. It was times like these when the wolves' absence was truely noticable._

_"Nessie, you know that is not what we think of you." Daddy said sternly. "You are the most precious girl on the planet and there is nothing 'freaky' about you." _

_"Sure sure." I grumbled, then choked back a sob when I realized who's words I was copying. Jake was never going to forgive me for not telling him about me and Nauhel. If it was one thing that I could always count on, it was the honesty Jake and I shared...or used to share, I guess._

_"Can I please just get my check up and go to sleep? I'm not in the partying mood." I complained, trying not to let the tears fall from the rims of my eyes where they were waiting to spill over. _

_My aunts and uncles exited the room, Alice grumbling about the wasted planning but otherwise they all understood. _

_"Do you want us to come back?" Momma asked, eying the unshed tears with concern. _

_"Come on, Love, she will be fine." Daddy said knowingly. "Let's go hunt while she gets her tests and then you can pry the answers to your questions when we get back, shall we?" He laughed teasingly, but Momma was not amused._

_"I'm not going to_ pry,_ Edward Cullen." She said angrily, but even as she did so, she walked towards the back door with my father. _

_"So did you really want to get your measurements, or was it just a ploy to get out of your party?" Carlisle asked with a kind smile._

_"A little of both." I replied back, giving him a weak smile. _

_Carlisle went ahead to the study to set everything up, while Esme headed off to the kitchen to clean up the rest of our mess. That left Nauhel and I in the foyer idly. _

_"What saddens you, Little Cheetah?" Nauhel asked with a frown._

_"Jacob..." I replied quietly. _

_"You shouldn't worry about your friend." Nauhel said boastfully. "He won't be back for a while after the way he acted. I'm sure your parents don't want that beast anywhere near their daughter now that they see what a temper he has." _

_That almost made me laugh; almost. "He's a wolf, of course he has a temper." I replied. "Doesn't mean anything. Jacob would never hurt me." _

_"Why do you defend him?" Nauhel asked astonished. _

_"He's my very best friend." I said simply. It was still true, even after this little fight and my two months gone. "Jacob was, and always will be, my best friend."_

_"You are a fool to think he will remain that way forever." Nauhel said a little angrily. "He is not our kind, Renesme, he does not understand what it is like to be a hybrid like ourselves. He could never be what I can be to you. I am your boyfriend and only potential mate, so you had better learn to listen to my advice. He has no place in your life now; just forget about him." _

There was something omonius in the way he said that that gave me the shivers. Nauhel was right, of course. Jacob was a shapeshifter and I was half vampire. It didn't make sense for us to be friends all these years and I knew that our time together was short. I guess that's why I said the next part; maybe I was trying to prove him wrong, or maybe I was simply lying to myself once again, but either way, the words can't be taken back. If I knew I'd lose Nauhel, I'm not sure if I would have said it or not, but it doesn't matter now, does it?

_"I don't care if he's our 'kind' or not. Jacob belongs in my life and if you can't see that, then I guess you don't deserve to belong in my life." _

And that, Diary, is how I lost my best friend and my first boyfriend all in one day. Sad, isn't it?

* * *

**AN: Okay, so here is where I'm stuck. I loooove writing Nessie & Nauhel :) just because it's not the usual combo, but at this point, a Nessie & Jake :D combo would fit perfectly. Review with your response! Thanks!**


	16. Secrets

Dear Diary,

I don't even know where to begin, so I'm just going to replay my whole day for you...

I woke up on Friday with a huge sense of dread. Jacob hadn't spoken to me since my party (four whole days ago, by the way) and Nauhel was scheduled to leave back to the Amazons tonight. He had not been talking to me since my party either, but that was because I was mad at him, not him ignoring me as in Jake's case.

The family didn't know how to react to my break up (and the fact that I had a boyfriend to begin with) so they all tried to keep to themselves. I still knew what they were all thinking though, and I didn't have to be a mindreader like my dad to know it.

Rosalie was the easiest. She was none too happy that Nauhel was leaving. She enjoyed the "fresh scent of not-dog" in the house, as she put it. Emmett and Jasper would miss getting to place bets about Nauhel falling for typical "human" jokes that I was too smart for. Alice was disapointed she couldn't dress me up for any 'official' dates with Nauhel, but there was a twinkle in her eye that made me think I was not going to get out of any of her shopping trips in the near future.

Momma and Daddy (whom I have decided to call by their first names, even in my head, now that I was an adult) were almost happy to see Nauhel go. Edward said it was not right for someone Nauhel's age to be courting a six year old like me. (I didn't need to remind him that he was waaaaay older than Momma as well and vampire time did not matter). Bella, on the other hand, was more upset that I was losing my first boyfriend in general, but I had a feeling she didn't think Nauhel was right for me either.

Esme and Carlisle were the only ones who did not have an opinion. But that was probably because they only wanted what was best for me and assumed I knew how to make the right one. They had been the only ones to ever treat me like an adult. (Now I technically was one, by the way. My last check up confirmed that I was eighteen and almost, if not already, completely fully grown at age six and a half).

Anyways, back to my ramble.

I dressed in my Main House bedroom, not having gone back to the cottage since Jake took me back there the night after his father died, and I hurried to the kitchen. I could smell the bacon and eggs the moment I woke up, and I knew that Momma must have been in a good mood.

Just as I suspected, when I entered the kitchen instead of finding Esme like I usually did, I saw Bella in front of the stove stirring the scrambled eggs.

"Mornin' Momma." I greeted her, glancing at Edward sitting on the countertop with worry lines etched in his brow.

"Good morning, sweetie. How did you sleep?" Bella asked radiantly, spinning around to smile at me.

"...good?" I replied, unsure how to react to her positively cheery mood.

The corner of Edward's mouth twisted upwards slightly at my thoughts. "Good morning, Renesme." He said in response. "Your breakfast will be done shortly if you would like to wait elsewhere."

"...okay?" I answered. What was with them today? Edward was distant and Bella was downright chipper. Whoever switched my parents did a terrible job.

"What's wrong with them?" I asked Esme, the first person I ran into in the living room. She was sitting on the couch knitting a sweater, probably for me, and barely glanced up when I asked.

"Nothing is...wrong, persay." Esme responded criptically.

"But something is..." I tried to find the correct word and finally stumbled upon a decent one. "...different?"

"Yes. Something definitely is different." Esme said, clearly carefully chosing her words. She looked at me sympothetically, but then returned to staring at the half finished pink sweater intently.

"Tell me what's going on, please Grandma." I begged, jutting out my bottom lip in a puppy dog style that I knew my family couldn't resist.

"I'm afraid I can't, sweetie." She said sorrowfully, not once looking at me.

"Where's Carlisle? He'd tell me." I threatened stubbornly.

At that, Esme smiled. "You can try to get this secret out of your grandfather if you'd like, but it's only a theory right now...it might not even work." She said cryptically. "He's in his study right now with Nauhel going over some of the details of it actually."

"Of what?" I whined. "Why doesn't anyone in this house want to tell me anything?"

"It's-" Esme started to explain but at the same moment, Edward came storming into the room to get me for breakfast.

"Your eggs are done." He said simply, giving Esme what looked like a warning glance.

"Thanks." I followed him back into the kitchen, claiming the stool on the far end to eat in hopes that Nauhel wouldn't be joining us soon. On second thought, this secret was intriguing and Nauhel obviously knew _something_.

"You won't get any answers out of the boy." Edward whispered quietly. I hadn't noticed him advancing so when he was suddenly right behind me, it freaked me out. I, in turn, flung the scrambled eggs on my fork into the air and watched helplessly as it landed in Nauhel's hair. He shook it off, trying not to glance at me but failing miserably, and came to sit next to me.

My parents had vanished from the kitchen suddenly, but I could hear them in the living room with my grandparents so I wasn't worried. Stupid fast fully vampire speed.

"Soooo..." I said, trying to be coy.

Nauhel smiled lightly at this, scooting his eggs around on his plate mindlessly as he did. "You would like to know what your grandfather and I discussed, wouldn't you, Little Cheetah?"

"I'm not subtle, am I?" I asked, smiling in return. This was nice; Nauhel and I actually getting along as friends after our break up.

"Not at all." He said with a straight face. "But...I promised your family that I wouldn't say anything to you."

"Why not?" I whined.

"I wish that I could tell you, Little Cheetah." Nauhel said. "Honestly, I do not see what is the big deal about the secret. But your father was very adament."

"That's alright..." I sighed. "I guess I'll eventually know, right?" I asked hopefully. Nauhel chuckled, his radiant smile lighting up the room as he reached for my hand; but for the first time that I've spent with him in the past four months, it didn't give me butterflies.

That knowledge completely changed everything.

I had been leaning towards taking him back and making it work long distance, but now, I knew that it wouldn't matter either way. I had already forgiven him for doubting my ultimate friendship with Jacob Black, but without any spark this wouldn't last.

"You are sure about this?" Nauhel asked sadly. "There is no more 'spark'?"

"Oh my gosh..." I said panicky, pulling my hand away from his. "You heard that?" I asked in a dreaded whisper. I hadn't meant for him to hear that; sometimes I didn't know when I was projecting or not.

"I heard that, yes." He said quietly as well. "And you do not have feelings for me anymore."

"You'll always be my friend, Nauhel." I said honestly. And I meant it.

"Your friend like Jacob Black?" He asked, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Yes." I replied, knowing that something didn't quite fit with that analogy.

The only good thing about this was, Nauhel got on the plane that night without any dramatic scenes or fist fights with any of my relatives. I promised to visit them again next summer and for him to send Huilen my love.


	17. Scary Dream & Resolutions

Dear Diary,

"I...I need to see Jake." I admitted to my mother the moment I woke up this morning. She usually woke me up whenever I decided to sleep at the cottage.

Last night I had been too upset about...well I'm not sure what I was upset about to be honest. I guess it was just a heavy, dreaded feeling that made me feel the need to be close to my parents. Lot of good it did though; I still had one of my nightmares.

"Why so urgant, Ness?" Bella asked with a teasing smile. "I'm sure visiting him can surely wait until after breakfast, can't it?"

"Please...can I go?" I begged, trying not to break down in tears. "I...I just need to see him, Momma."

She looked at me sympathetically, clearly judging whether or not I could physically wait or not to see Jacob Black, before finally nodding.

I was out the door before she even had a chance to tell me to change out of my pajama's. I did, however, hear her muttering to Edward about my impatience. He just laughed and said something like, "she gets that from you." I can't be quite sure though because I was already past the Main House and halfway down the long driveway.

"Renesme! Where are you going off to in such a hurry?" Carlisle asked, caught off guard by my light foot and determined expression. He had the window rolled down to talk to me, though he barely slowed down because I was keeping pace with his sporty car. He was on his way to the hospital in Port Angeles for his morning shift so I didn't want to make him late.

"Gonna go see Jake." I replied, smiling at my grandfather when the driveway branched off. I headed right towards La Push, while Carlisle headed left to Port Angeles. There was a grn on his face when I looked back at his reflection in the side mirror.

I didn't stop but once on my way to the Reservation. And the one time I did stop was because I caught the attention of some of the local residents passing me by the freeway. I had momentarily forgotten that I was supposed to be a normal teenaged girl, not a half vampire. I skidded to a stop before darting into the woods where I could continue to run at my own pace.

I reached La Push borders in record time, not even bothering to pause this time. I knew where I was going and if anyone tried to get in my way, there would be blood shed. Fear makes people do terrible things; and my dream was enough to terrify anyone.

I slowed down to a walk when I saw Jake's Rabbit in the driveway, now unsure how I was going to approach my distant best friend. Five days without seeing him was catching up to me.

I kept my hand half-raised against the doorframe. I took a deep breath and thought, _Jake, here I come. _I was suddenly half-giddy by the idea. I mean, I knew I was going to see my Jacob, but it didn't click until I was standing on his front doorstep.

_Don't think about it like that. He's still mad at you, remember? _I thought to myself. _You are just here to make sure he is alive. That's it. _

Suddenly, the door swung open to reveal a groggy looking Jacob at the door. My hand was still outstretched in the act of knocking but I lowered it when I saw him standing before me.

"Ness...?" He asked, half asleep still. He looked worn from a late night patrolling.

That was when I started crying. "Ja-ake." I bawled, closing the distance between us in my need to make sure he was physically okay. That dream popped up into the front of my mind again and it started a whole other round of tears.

"Shh, shhh, Nessie, it's okay. I've got you, shh, it's okay." Jake reassured me over and over again as he rubbed my back soothingly to try and calm me down.

When my tears finally subsided, I looked up at Jacob's warm caring eyes and knew that everything was really going to be okay.

"Sorry." I muttered, trying to force away the remaining trickling tears with the back of my hand.

"What's wrong, Nessie?" He asked carefully. "Did something happen with Nauhel?" I could hear that he was trying to sound sympathetic but the fierce protectiveness that I had grown to count on over the years was still dominant in his speech.

"No, no. It's not Nauhel. Actually we broke up on my birthday..." I admitted quietly. "He left yesterday..."

There was a hint of a smile on his lips, but he tried to hide it. "If it isn't the jungle boy, then what is it? What's wrong, Ness?" He asked again. I burried my head in his shirt, too embarrassed now to admitt the truth that I was just a scared six year old haunted by a nightmare.

"You're alive." I whispered against his chest, knowing full well he'd hear me. "I had a dream and...I just had to make sure you were still alive."

Jake placed his long fingers under my chin and forced me to look him in the eye. "It's okay, Ness. I'm here. I'm never going to leave you. It's okay."

"Promise?" I practically begged. "You won't start ignoring me again, will you?" I asked quietly, keeping eye contact with him while I spoke.

"I thought that was what you wanted." Jake answered honestly. "You chose Nauhel's...companionship over our friendship."

"No I didn't, Jake." I muttered. "I told him right after you left that your friendship meant more to me than anything he could ever offer. He couldn't handle me wanting you in my life, so I broke up with him."

"...you broke up with him for me?" Jacob asked earnestly. "Why did you do that, Ness?"

"Because Nauhel just didn't understand." I said with a giggle. "You've always been my Jacob."

"And you'll always be my Ness." Jacob replied.


	18. Moving?

Dear Diary,

Sorry I haven't written in a while, Diary, but I've been busy with Jake. Now I have to add rebelling against my family's upcoming move to my list of things to do too.

They had been planning it for some time now, but with my little trip to the Amazons, Billy dying, and all that other stuff since my sixth birthday, they've been putting it off. They actually weren't planning on telling me until the day_ before_ our move in a week, but I got informed last night.

But somehow they let it slip to Leah, who told Seth, who blabbed to Jacob, who got really really angry and stormed into the Main House late last night.

_~!Flashback!~_

_I was supposed to be asleep by then, but the second I heard Jacob's voice, I was wide awake. So I snuck out of my bedroom in the basement and hide on the top stair leading into the foyer. From there, I could hear everything._

_"I'm sorry to be the one to confirm this, but we are moving in a week." Alice said the second Jacob came bounding into the house dramatically. "I can 'see' that's what you came here for."_

_"What do you mean you're moving?" Jacob growled. "No one said anything to me about this." He said defensively._

_"That's probably because this is a family isssue." Rosalie counteracted._

_"I am every much as part of this family as you are, Blondie!" Jacob roared. I knew that he was probably shaking, just from the tone of his voice. "I have a right to know if you guys are planning on leaving."_

_"Jacob is right, Rose." Carlisle said logically. "I don't know why Edward didn't want to tell the children, but the secret's out of the bag now."_

_"This was Edward's doing?" Jacob asked threateningly calm._

_Judging by the silence that followed, Jacob seemed to get his answer. _

_"I don't know why he would want to keep me out of the loop." Jacob growled a few minutes later when no one said anything. _

_"You know very well why." Rosalie said a little calmly, though still clearly irritated._

_"We can't be overprotective of Renesme forever." Esme said sadly, though her tone lightened when she spoke again. "Besides, if all things work out, we will..."_

_"Not now, sweetie." Carlisle said quietly. Even though it was said gently, I knew that it was a warning. So this was about Nauhel's secret; not the moving secret? Two major events (or so I assumed the unidentified secret was too) and I was not involved with either one of them. _

_I was starting to get majorly irritated. Why did no one want me to be in on the loop? I was sick and tired of everyone trying to proctect me. I wasn't a baby anymore. I was physically eighteen, fully grown, and far more mature than even my mother had been at my age. They couldn't keep me in the dark anymore. _

_I stormed into the living room, abandoning my hiding position on the stairs. "I'm not a baby anymore!" I yelled, startling my family. _

_"Jasper, can you calm these two down?" Esme asked quietly. "Emmett, why don't you go fetch Edward and Bella from the cottage? They need to know about this." _

_Both of my uncles nodded, and as Emmett ran past me, I began to 'feel' calmer. _

_"Uncle Jazz, I love you, but I want my own emotions right now." I said angrily, fighting against his emotion controlling power. _

_I went to stand beside Jacob, since everyone else was a traitor in my mind. I smiled weakly at Grandma Esme though. From what I heard so far, she was just a puppet in their cover-up scheme. She smiled back just as weakly, confirming my assumptions._

_Just then, my parents stormed into the room with Uncle Emmett behind them. "Who told them?" Edward asked angrily. _

_"Seth did." Jacob said honestly, though sounding a little resentful. "Not that he should have known before I did." Yup, definitely resentment._

_"Frankly, it's none of your concern Jacob." Edward said spitefully. _

_I could see Bella was out of the loop as well. "This is every bit as much Jake's buisness as it is ours and Nessie's." She said in a shocked tone. "You told me you had already talked to them." She stated half-angry._

_"Isn't nice to be on the other side of their lies, is it?" Jacob asked with a growl in Edward's direction. _

_"I'll have none of that attitude in my house!" Edward yelled back. I had never seen him lose his cool like this; it was unsettling. I can see now why other vampires were afraid of him. Honestly, I was afraid of him at this moment. _

_My thoughts stopped him in his tracks. "Nessie, I don't want you to be afraid of me. I was doing this for your own good." Edward, the man who I no longer considered my father, said heartbreakingly._

_That caught Jacob's attention. He instantly softened and looked at me. "You don't need to be scared. I would never let him do anything to you." He said quietly, turning his back to Edward as he did so._

_"I would never hurt _my_ daughter. MINE! She is mine,_ not_ yours." Edward growled. _

_"So this is what it's about?" Jacob asked in disbelief. "After all the years I've been apart of this family, it hasn't meant anything to you, has it?" _

_"Maybe we should leave them alone." Alice said quietly to my extended family. "I see this ending badly..." _

_"But it was just getting good." Rosalie complained half-hearted. The six of them left through the front door and headed towards the forrest. Nothing like a family fight to work up an appetite. _

_"Edward, be reasonable. Like it or not, Jacob is a part of our lives." Bella said calmly. "Nessie is his best friend...and so am I." She added weakly. Though Momma and Jacob had always had this mysterious history, everyone knew that I was Jacob's true best friend. _

_"You would be better off with a different best friend." Edward growled. "And frankly, so would Renesme."_

_"Hello? Said half-vampire still in the room." I complained when they continued to talk about me as if I wasn't there._

_"Sorry, Nessie," Edward said a little calmer, "but we are moving in a week, like it or not." He said firmly. "And Jacob will not be coming with us."_

_"I'm not leaving without my Jacob." I said, my eyes rimming up with tears. I had just gotten my best friend back, I wasn't about to lose him again._

_Bella looked torn, but she stayed planted by Edward's side. _

_"I'm eighteen now. I can make my own decisions, thank you." I said. This was probably going to be one of those snap-decisions that I regretted later, but right now I didn't care. "If Jacob isn't going, I don't wanna go either." I said stubbornly, earning myself a grin from my favorite wolf. _

_"Don't be ridiculous, Renesme." Edward said smugly. "You wouldn't stay behind. I know you too well. You need your family more than you need that _mutt_." _

_Jacob growled deep in his chest, sounding wounded, but I wasn't even fully-listening to him. I was focused on the man who brought me into this world. _

_'Apparently, I need the "mutt" more.' I thought to him as I announced that I was leaving._

_I stormed past him into my Main House bedroom and started searching for my suitcase. As if reading my mind, Jacob pulled it out from under my bed and set it on the pink and purple princess comforter Alice had gotten me for my birthday. I sighed. Everything about this room screamed little girl. There wasn't a personal touch of mine anywhere._

_"I'll be staying with the Clearwaters in La Push if you need me, Momma." I said as I started packing what little I could fit into my suitcase I'd taken to the Amazons. I knew this was hurting Bella more than she let on, but she nodded silently. _

_Edward still had that smug expression on his face as if I was going to back out of it at the last minute. 'Fat chance, Dad.' I thought to him._

_"You sure about this, Ness?" Jacob asked me as he picked up the suitcase and motioned for the front door. I nodded. There was no going back now, I had decided. _

_With one last look at my grieving mother, and a glare at 'Edward', I closed the door and waited for Jacob to phase behind a huge oak tree. When he came into view, he had my suitcase clutched between his teeth and his clothes tied to his hind leg. I climbed on his back, loving the feel of his familiar russett fur beneath me. Once I was secure, he took off into the forest in the direction of La Push. _

_'Take me to Leah's.' I sent him using my power. We had become decent friends over the years through our mutual fondness for Seth and Jacob. I knew that she wouldn't turn me away when she found out I ran away; especially since Jacob's house was the only other option and (though he was my best friend and I trusted him) I would feel more comfortable not staying with him for however long I was running away. _

_I could feel his whole body shake as he nodded and I smiled. _

_~!End Flashback!~_

That was how I came to be sleeping on the Clearwaters' couch. Leah was welcoming, just as I expected, and Seth had no problems with it either. Sara, on the other hand, threw a fit about having to smell a vampire (even if only a half) all day. But once Jake gave her an Alpha order, she was much more obliging.


	19. Bonfire

Dear Diary,

"So you just packed and left?" Quil Ateara the Third, also known to everyone as just Quil, asked in disbelief. Though he was living at home while he took classes on-line to get his college degree, I hadn't seen him that often. Whatever free time he had, he spent with Claire.

I smiled as I saw that eight and a half year old Claire was asleep on his lap, her long black curls framed around her face despite the fact that Quil had been petting her hair absentmindedly for the past hour she'd been asleep.

It was the annual Friday night Quillite bonfire, and I was sitting next to Jacob, who was holding his sleeping niece Dani, and surrounded by all of the wolves who either still lived here or were home visiting for Thanksgiving Break. Oh, and all their imprints (whatever that word meant).

"Yup." I replied with an embarrassed smile. "I'm sick of my family treating me like a baby when I'm not."

"And a baby you aren't." Quinn Sqyures, one of the new wolves, said seductively. Or at least that's what I figured he was trying to do.

I giggled at that. "Thanks, Quincy." I teased, earning myself laughs from a few of the other wolves, including Quinn's twin brother Micah.

"He hates his name, you know." Micah said as his brother stomped off towards the actual bonfire. He took a seat next to Sara Clearwater, Leah's equally as mopey cousin.

"I know." I said with a wicked grin.

"You're okay in my book, then." Micah said with a laugh and a nod at Jacob.

I looked around for Seth and his imprint Jenny Rosenfeller. The pair were sitting close to the fire, his arm around her shoulders to keep her slightly warmer than actually sitting in the fire would do. Since she had come to La Push in search of her birth parents, and not to fall in love with Seth, I wasn't sure when she was leaving. But Seth had pretty much all but quit attending college so he could spend every second with her regardless.

Though, I must admit that it was strange to see her now that I knew who she was related to. She was Quil Ateara Junior's secret daughter and Quil's long lost sister. She had been able to trace her linage back to QJ despite him being dead for years. Her mother had been somewhat of a prostitute so it had taken Jenny years to find out who her father could be, but she had been patient in her search.

Quil still tried to deny that his father had been unfaithful to his long dead mother, but one look at Jenny and it was obvious. The two had the same soft brown hair, deep black eyes, and dimples. Jenny was, since she was only half Quillite, lighter in skin tone than her brother though.

That made most people assume that Embry Call, who's father did NOT have any werewolf heritage, was also Quil's brother. But that had yet to be proven.

Speaking of Embry, he was sitting next to Leah, trying desperately to get her attention. It was really cute how big of a crush he had on her. I spoke with her the other day about it, and she admitted that she liked him too. She was just afraid of him imprinting like Sam had. She knew she wouldn't be able to take it again if her lover abandoned her because of her being a 'genetic dead end', so she was determined to reject him. It really was quite sad.

Jared seemed to be the only wolf not here; but that was because he couldn't get out of his exams like the other college bound wolves could. Besides, I heard a rumor from one of the gang that he had knocked up Kim and she wasn't fit to fly anymore. They had been married here on First Beach not too long ago, but the idea of more little werewolves running around soon was enough to excite anyone.

Speaking of little werewolf possibilities, there was an abundance of couples-in-love working on adding to the La Push defenses.

It was no secret that Sam and Emily were already working on baby number four. They had been busy since the Volturi battle when Sam decided to stop phasing. Three daughters so far, each unique yet equally loved by their parents, but I knew that Sam wanted a little boy this time around.

Five year old Harper Elizabeth Uley, three and a half year old Hannah Beth Uley, and two year old Haleigh Grace Uley showed no signs of phasing yet. But since Sara and Leah were both related to Emily and the two of them phased, there was a good chance that we'd have another female wolf around here.

Especially because the three of them aren't the only new little girls around here.

Jacob's niece Danielle Nichole Black was simply precious. Everyone called her Dani, much to Rachel's chagrin. Despite being only two, she had an explosion of personality. There was a high possibility that she'll phase as well; especially considering the fact that Jacob is Alpha and it has run strongly through the Black bloodlines for generations.

Paul and Rachel were also working on having another baby, but something tells me that they had already succeeded. Something about the way Paul was extremely overprotective of her whenever she wanted to stand up and the way that Rachel's hand would unconsciously fall onto her stomach told me that she was already pregnant again.

"Are you enjoying the bonfire?" Jake asked me when Dani started getting fussy and he handed her back to his brother-in-law Paul. I hated to admit it, even to myself, but watching Jacob with Dani made me want that someday.

I didn't even know if it was possible for a hybrid like myself to even get pregnant, but I knew that someday I wanted that. And I had already picked out my baby's daddy. Jacob.

It wasn't until I had decided that Jacob meant more to me than my family that I realized I was in love with him. The signs had been there all along, though. The nightmares, the strange feeling I got when Nauhel was my boyfriend, and so much more; it all pointed to Jake.

"Yes I am." I replied. "Did Momma enjoy the bonfires when she was human?" I asked before I thought it through. I hadn't thought about my family in five days, not since I had runaway.

Jake got real quiet, as if deciding if I actually wanted an answer or not, before he replied. "Yes. She loved them. She didn't even mind that my friends called her 'vampire girl' to her face. She was my best friend and that was all that matttered."

"Was it hard for you to see her pregnant with me?" I asked. I didn't know where these questions were coming from, I just knew that I had to get this all off my chest. Something about the way Edward had said me and Momma would be better off without Jake as our best friend reminded me that Jake had once been hers first. I wanted to know everything about it.

My Jacob nodded and took a deep breath. "I had been in love with her for almost a year when she announced she was getting married to Edward. I knew that deep down, she loved me too; but it was never going to be enough. Your father had won." He said with little regret in his voice as he stared at me to make sure I understood what he was saying.

"I phased and was on the run for I don't know how long before Bella and Edward finally returned from their honeymoon. The local rumor from Charlie was that she had caught a virus and couldn't see people. I thought I knew what was wrong. Something had gone horrably wrong with her transformation and she was dying." He said sadly, but I could see that this was where the story was supposed to get better. I knew from Alice that once he found out I was in Momma's stomach, he became best friends with her again.

"But she wasn't dying from a virus or vampire venom; you were killing her." He said honestly. "I was a coward and tried to run again. Edward was equally upset about this but only because he was the reason you were here to begin with..." I frowned, this wasn't what I had always been told. Were my family protecting me then too?

"But I'm here and Momma's alive. If I was killing her, as you say, why isn't she dead?" I interupted. I knew Jacob would tell me the whole truth and I wanted answers.

"You were just thirsty is all." He said weakly. "You were taking all of her nutrients because she didn't know how to feed you. And once Edward could hear your thoughts, everyone jumped right on board. But it still hurt for me to see my former best friend looking so sick, and knowing that there was a good chance you would kill her during your delivery wasn't helping with that."

He looked at me with what looked like tears in his eyes. "So I decided the only thing to do was..." Suddenly, the whole bonfire party went silent. Even the children seemed to know that this an important confession. "...to kill you." He whispered ashamed.

"You wanted to kill me?" I asked, not wanting to believe him. One look at the other original werewolves' faces gave me my answer. "All of you?" I stated quietly.

Suddenly, I was mad. Here I was, sitting around a group of people who had formerly plotted my death, and I, like the naive hybrid I was, thought that we were all friends. I pushed myself off of the log and angrily stormed off down the beach.

"Nessie, that's what I'm trying to explain." Jacob begged, following me further down the beach. When we were out of earshot of the other wolves and I couldn't see the flames from the bonfire anymore, I stopped and fell to my knees in the wet sand.

"I wasn't done with my story yet." Jacob said quietly. "Please let me finish?" He begged, forcing me to look him in the eyes with his warm, oversized hand.

I didn't respond, but I knew he was going to finish his story anyways. "Like I was saying, when you were born, I wanted to kill you. I even was making my way towards you when Blondie lifted you up on the couch and I got my first look at you." He said happily despite all the tension.

"I was that cute, huh?" I asked angrily. "I looked so much like my mother you decided to spare my life? Come on, Jake, what is it that made you not want to kill me?"

"I saw your eyes." Jacob replied cryptically with a huge smile on his face. So this was about my mother.

"You know what, I don't even care. If you still love my mother, why didn't you try and stop_ her_ from leaving?" I asked as an angry tear rolled down my cheek. I felt more than betrayed; this was worse than my whole family lying to me. My best friend in the entire world, and the guy who I had finally realized my true feelings for only days ago, only hung around me because I reminded him of my mother, his first love.

"You don't understand. The reason was, because, at that moment when I first saw you, I no longer loved your mother." Jacob said, carefully wiping my tear away. "Nessie, don't you get it? I imprinted on you."

And with that confession, Jacob crashed his lips against mine in a possessive, needy way.


	20. Big Changes

Dear Diary,

Jake and I are getting married, Diary. Aren't you so excited for me? Well, it doesn't matter if you are or not because you are a tiny pink notebook and I am a fully grown, extremely happy fiance of the man I love.

Maybe I should back up a little. Okay, here are the facts. 1) My family decided to come visit me for the first time since I ran away to celebrate my birthday. 2) Jake has been my boyfriend since the bonfire six months ago and my fiance since last night. 3) He proposed to me on my seventh birthday, which if you couldn't tell was yesterday.

The whole La Push "gang" arrived at the house to have a pre-party party for me at around one. Usually I wouldn't like this many parties and all the attention, but Jacob said he wanted me to have a fun birthday before my family arrived. I thought it was so cute I had to let him plan it for me.

Seth, and Jenny came over here at the crack of dawn so they could help set up while Leah and Sara distracted me at their house. Though Sara still doesn't like me, I know it is only because she had a crush on Jake when she first started phasing and she was jealous he picked me, considering what I am.

I don't mind though. The rest of the wolves have come to accept me and I know it is only a matter of time before she does.

_Everyone_ came to my party. All the wolves, from the very first ones to the new phasers, and their imprints attended the little get together.

Seth brought Jenny, Sam brought Emily and their kids, Jared Kinard flew in with Kim and their five month old daughter Myran, and Quil was babysitting so he brought his imprint, nine year old Claire, and her six year old brother Christian. On an unexpected note, Leah finally agreed to go out with Embry, so technically they arrived as a couple.

Collin and Brady showed up without dates but I knew that they were secretly dating.

I know this, of course, because I have killer intuition and my power developed a little more when I woke up on my birthday. I guess it was a final gift from my power since I was now officially fully grown. I could now listen in on people's thoughts if I was in contact with them.

When I went in to give Collin a bear hug, I found out the secret he was trying to hide.

They hadn't been back to La Push since they decided their love for one another in hopes that no one would find out that the best friends were a little more than that. It wasn't the fact that they were gay that they wanted to hide, it was the fact that they had imprinted on each other. That was something the legands hadn't prepared them for and they knew they would be cast aside. I didn't care though. I loved them no matter what.

Quinn and Micah Sqyures were the only ones who didn't have an imprint of the remaining available male wolves, but I knew that wouldn't change for awhile. They didn't seem to mind though, and it was even rumored that Quinn had a steady girlfriend (though no one had ever seen her).

Even Paul and Rachel made it, despite her condition. She was eight and a half months pregnant with their second daughter, soon to be Dianea Rebecca Black. Dani was looking forward to being a big sister and the other wolf girls were just happy to have another baby to dress up soon.

Not like they didn't already have enough. They had five and a half year old Harper Uley, who would play dress up for hours if she could, four year old Hannah Uley, who despite her age loved to paint murals so she was always in need of a spare outfit, and Haleigh Uley who was now almost three but still treated like the spoiled baby she was.

Around dusk, my vampire family showed up but by then most of the wolves had scattered. The Uleys, Kinards, and Sqyures went home at nine in anticipation of the Cullens arrival, followed shortly by Quil who had to get Claire and her brother home. Jenny was getting restless when she heard more people were going to be arriving so she asked the Clearwaters to take her home. Leah seemed to be the only one who wanted to stick around, but she too got in the car with Seth and Sara.

That just left Embry, Collin, and Brady.

"You guys don't mind if I finish eating this, do you?" Embry asked me, glancing at the remaining chips and salsa. I shook my head and in an instant he had it shoved down his throat.

"I think we're gonna head out." Collin said remorsefully, eying a sleeping Brady with a passion so deep I couldn't understand why they didn't reveal themselves. He nudged his partner awake and helped him to the car.

I followed them out, giving them each another hug goodbye. I knew from their thoughts when I hugged them that they wouldn't be back for awhile. "Don't be a stranger. I'm sure they could handle the truth." I whispered in Collin's ear, Brady already have fallen asleep in the passanger side.

Collin's face froze in panic, but I refused to drop his gaze. "Don't worry, it's not my secret to tell." I promised, kissing the wolf on his cheek just as a Silver Volvo pulled up in the driveway. Collin jumped in the driver's seat and sped off.

Momma however, did the opposite. She ran and gave me a hug, unconsciously spilling all of the family's secrets as she kept contact with my skin. Edward didn't seem phased with it, but that was because I also knew that Momma was shielding everyone's thoughts from him; for now anyways.

Even though I had run away when my parents declared the family was moving, I kept in touch with Momma through secret phone calls and random trips to the small town of Twitterville, Oregon. That was where the Cullens moved to, by the way. It was everything they could ever need and love; rainy, overcast, and overpopulated in wildlife.

I led everyone inside, giving each family member a big hug. Partly it was because I missed them; partly it was because I wanted to see if the big secret was true. Person after person confirmed it, but that didn't make it any less shocking.

Halfway through the night, my party became sort of a mending time for everyone. My whole family was crowded around in Billy's old house, which had become Jacob's property when his father passed away. I was still living with the Clearwaters though, so don't go thinking anything dirty, Diary. I just enjoyed being over here so I only went back there to sleep.

Edward was still as stubborn as ever. He made a face when he saw me sitting on Jacob's lap a quarter til midnight. Looks like things hadn't changed since he practically threw me out of the house for not wanting to move.

"I told you this would happen, love." Edward growled lowly to my mother, thinking that we couldn't hear him.

"I don't care. I'm happy that Nessie has Jacob." She argued back, glaring at him as she came to give me a hug. She meant it too. Apparently, according to what Jake said and what she confirmed when she hugged me, everyone knew about the imprinting _but_ me. They all knew I would end up with Jake, yet no one tried to tell me about it. That was probably why Aunt Rose was so happy when I briefly dated Nauhel.

Anyways, Diary, I was telling you about my proposal, not my party. *giggle*

The proposal came out of nowhere. One minute Jake was playing with my hair and glancing at the clock and the next he was asking me to go for a walk and pulling me deep into the forest. I agreed quickly even though I had no idea what he was planning, though from the look on Edward's face should probably have been a tip off. He looked like he wanted to kill Jacob so I'm assuming now that Momma had let down her shield and he had been thinking about it.

"Nessie, I love you." Jake said earnestly, glancing at his watch again. "I promised your father, when you were younger and he found out about the imprinting thing, that I wouldn't make a move on you until you were fully grown. Though I seemed to have happened sooner than that, I want to still fufill my promise as best as I can."

I nodded, unsure what he meant when suddenly he crouched down on one knee. Tears were whelling in my eyes as he pulled the little black velvet box from his pocket. He glanced at his watch once more and smiled in triump. "It is now 12:01, Ness." He said mysteriously.

I was about to ask him what he meant when he said those four little words every girl wants to hear. "Will you marry me?"

I think my response could be heard for miles, but I didn't care. "Yes." I whispered once I got over my giggle fit and my spontanious screaming. "Yes, Jacob, I would love to marry you."

* * *

**AN: So sad, it's ending :( but this story has run its course. Yes, I understand the irony that I started this story on Nessie's sixth birthday and ended it on her seventh. But look at how much has happened in one year. Thank you all for reading and thank you for my few reviewers on this story. They made my day and made me want to continue writing lol. Hope you enjoyed this unusual story! :) **


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